Lucasfilm Pie
to the tune of Don McLeanıs ³American Pie²
filked by jere7my tho?rpe

(slowly)	³A long, long time ago,²
Said the opıning titles
³In a galaxy far far away...²
Lucas wrote part four of nine
About a young man in his prime
And whether to the Dark Side he would stray.
	Two droids who were named Artoo anı
	Threepio crashed on Tatooine.
	They had to find Kenobi
	In desert worse than Gobi.
I canıt remember if I cried
When Vader ordered fratricide,
But I know I was horrified
The day the Jawas died.

And Luke was singinı,
	³Bye-bye Œcause this planetıs too dry.²
(speed up)		Drove his speeder to Mos Eisley to go join the Allies.
	And Obi-Wan, he chopped the arm off some guy,
	Saying ³Soon, Luke, you will be a Jedi,
		Soon, Luke, you will be a Jedi.²

(rollicking)	They flew off to Alderaan
But when they got there it was gone‹
Nothing left but asteroids.
So Solo plotted a new course
While Luke learned how to use the force
And Chewie played some space chess with the droids.
	Oh, and while we heard John Williamsı theme,
	The Death Star used a tractor beam.
	Ben went to shut it down
	So the others could leave town.
Luke was a lonely, teen-aged Jedi Knight,
With an X-wing fighter and a sword of light,
And he knew he had to join the fight
The day Kenobi died.

And we were singinı
	Bye-bye, itıs the Death Starıs demise.
	It was blown up by a rebel who was code-named Red Five.
	And Vader very nearly didnıt survive
	ŒCause Han picked a damn good time to arrive,
		He picked a damn good time to arrive.

Oh, on Hoth they built a rebel base,
Two decades after ³Lost in Space,²
So the fight could start again.
Luke got captured by a beast
Which saved him for the evening feast
ŒTil he used the Force to help him self-defend.
	Oh, and Han slit up his Tauntaunıs hide
	So a Lukesicle could crawl inside.
	Then, alas and alack,
	The Empire struck back!
As the AT-ATs walked on through the snow
The rebels cried out ³Tallyho!²
But it was like the Alamo
The day Lukeıs gunner died.

They were singinı,
	³Bye-bye, let us deoccupy.
	If we stay here too much longer we will be vaporized.²
	And Luke flew off to meet with Yoda the Wise,
	Sayinı ³I must learn to be a Jedi,
		I must learn to be a Jedi.²

Boggy, foggy, full of little froggies,
Dagobah was damp and soggy,
But thatıs where Yoda had his home.
He was a wizened little gnome,
Two feet high when fully grown
But he taught Luke how to make the Force his own.
	Ah, but Lukeıs friends were in trouble deep,
	With Threepio piled in a heap.
	Our heroes were betrayed‹
	Thrown in the stockade!
Oh, and by Darth Vader Luke was maimed,
Then he hung from a weathervane
And he learned Vaderıs real name
The day Han Solo got frozen in a block of carbonite.

And they were singinı,
	³Bye-bye, Landoıs town in the sky.²
	They left although they had a broken-down hyperdrive.
	And Boba Fett flew off with Han in Slave I‹
	Theyıd be gone Œtil ³Return of the Jedi,²
		Gone Œtil ³Return of the Jedi.²

Then, for three years, we were on our own
While Han played Indiana Jones
And Carrie married Rhyminı Paul.
Sy Snootles sang for Jabbaıs chums
Like Bib Fortuna and Salacious Crumb
While Solo hung around on Jabbaıs wall.
	Oh, and after Leia got him down
	The Sarlacc waited underground.
	It swallowed Boba Fett.
	(The worst indigestion yet!)
And while Leia changed out of her bra,
Luke flew off to Dagobah
And he was there to hold his paw
The day that Yoda died.

He was singinı,
	³Bye-bye to the little green guy.²
	He trained Vader and Kenobi and Luke to be Jedi.
	And now heıs gone to that big bog in the sky,
	Saying ³Luke, there is another young Sky.....
		Luke there is another young Sky.....walk......errrrrgghhhhh.....²

(slowly)	Luke met a man named Palpatine,
An Emperor of beinı mean,
Who wanted Luke to be his heir.
Meanwhile, on the moon below,
Rebels struck a counterblow
With some assistance from some teddy bears.
	And in the sky, the spaceships blazed;
	The fighters fought, and the lasers lazed.
	The battle, it was heated;
	The Empire was defeated.
And the three Jedi admired most‹
Yoda, Ben and Vaderıs ghost‹
They all glowed blue and raised a toast
The day Darth Vader died.

And we were singinı,
	Bye-bye ³Return of the Jedi,²
	Weıll wait fifteen years for sequels as Binkley prophesied.
	And while we wait, weıll make do with ³Deep Space Nine,²
	Singinı ³May the Force be with you and I,
		May the Force be with you and I.²

(faster)	Now weıre singinı,
	Bye-bye ³Return of the Jedi,²
	Weıll wait fifteen years for sequels as Binkley prophesied.
	And while we wait, weıll make do with ³Deep Space Nine,²
	Singinı ³May the Force be with you and I.²