"Riker of the Enterprise"                       
(to the tune of "The Green Berets")                               
by Ellen Edgerton      

He was tall and strong, he had a beard,     
His gut was large, his posture weird!     
His uniform was the biggest size     
He was William Riker of the Enterprise.      
His mother died when he was a lad     
He felt deprived -- he blamed his dad!     
What a tortured psyche to analyze --     
Poor William Riker of the Enterprise.      
His raging hormones were at their peak --     
His self-control alas was weak!     
No man in Starfleet could womanize     
Like William Riker of the Enterprise!      
He fought the Borg while chasing girls     
His hands exploring strange new worlds!     
To the occasion he'd always rise --     
He was William Riker of the Enterprise.      
He was so far and yet so near     
To Deanna's bed, the final frontier!     
But he'd not despair, and still he'd try --     
For he was Will Riker of the Enterprise.      
Let's raise our ale and synthohol     
To the greatest officer of all     
And toast the legend that never dies --     
Here's to Will Riker and the Enterprise!