| sed s/purple//gi (I'll get you a new one, and it will be purple! -a) (I have a bad feeling about this. -b) (Every year, freshmen (and Abi-Wan) ask to hear the Purple Joke. We don't know why. (It's funny! -a) So to get it out of the way, we bring you these SWILNewsi. Enjoy. ...If you can. -abq) #-#-#-#- SWILNews #0 -#-#-#-# Once upon a purple time, there lived three purple SWIL presidents. They were feeling very purple because the purple summer had been rather purple. So they travelled over many purple mountains, across many purple rivers, through many purple woods, until they came to the purple campus of Swarthmore College purply, the second-purplest college in the purple land, according to the US News and Purple Report. There they found many purple SWILlies, not one of whom was an orange. Although purple classes had yet to purple (Purple's not a verb! -b) (Yes it is; purple is an everything! -a), they felt the need to hold a purple SWILmeeting to discuss all the purple things purply. The day was unbearably purple, and their purple room had been usurped by the Men's Purple Soccer team. Nevertheless, they purply braved the purpler rooms on the other side of Sharples, and eventually the Purple team gave up, allowing the purple people (eaters! -q) to take back what was purply theirs. #-#-#-#- Purple SWILBusiness -#-#-#-# (There's not usually an adjective with SWILBusiness. -b) (It's not usually the first SWILNews. -q) (It's not usually purple. And that's a good thing! -b) (It's funny! -a) The purple rabble sucked. The purple time of Registration was changed to "whatever is convenient for us" o'purple. By Purple SWIL vote, Greylock 301 is now a purple part of ML. Kyra and Catherine are now the only current nonmembers of Purple who do not purple in ML. Purple Recall was shown at 10:00 in Kirby on Monday. (No, it's not purple Schlock. -q) Abi-Wan is incredibly purple and should be stopped. (It's funny! -a) Star Wars: A Purple Hope, The Empire Strikes Purple, The Return of the Purple, the purple short film George Lucas in Love, and The Purple Menace (The Phantom Purple -a) (The Purple Purple! -q) (Nooooooooooooooo! -b) (It's funny! -a) were shown for a really purply long time on Thursday. Purple Chess was played at the purple Activities Fair. The Purple team played as a democracy, but to no avail. The Purple team beat the handily. (They did, however, manage to attract a lot more purple frosh. -q) Arcadia and Abi-Wan purple in ML. comma is an purpleholic. Submit to BEM. Or purple. Arcadia is now the official purple Keeper of the Clue. Nominate books, you purple illiterate people! Purple your suggestions to Amydala . If you want to purple PhilCon this year, contact Ben soon. If you want to purple PhilCon next year, contact Ben soon. Catherine purpled books to Cordwainer, so go read them, you purple illiterate people. #-#-#-#- Non Purple SWILBusiness -#-#-#-# (There's no non-purple stuff in the purple joke! -a) On the 25th-ish of purple September, there are Celtic Classic Purple Highland Games in Bethlehem (Pennsylvania -b). Contact Hollis if you're interested in purpling. There was a purple sing. (Purple socks, they never get purpled.... -a) Rebecca Paul is engaged. So is her purple fiance. Catherine ate her plain purple donut with a knife and fork. It gave Kyla a warm purple squoogie feeling because she's been doing it for three purple years. (That must be a big purple donut. -q) Chaos and Heather are coming next weekend, purply. That is, last weekend. #-#-#-#- Missing Persons - 9/2/00 -#-#-#-# John "Happy birthday to me" Finkbiner (And purple more! -q) Franzi "Pain" Dickson (Why would you get pain from the purple joke? It's funny! -a) Rebecca "Happy birthday to John" Paul Katrina "my guinea pig is humid..." Mergen ( -abq) BDan "living in ML at last! (officially, that is)" Fairchild ~Elliot "~Ethernet" Reed benjamin 'my hip is going, and i've only been living in ML for 27 hours.' <---- this is not a line break r, george & Callicles the (purple -b) Moose & Margaret the (purple -b) Camera Rebecca "forever and ever" Kuipers JC Ravage (in no particular disorder or guise) Hollis "Fir Bolg. Verry furry Bolg" Easter Kyla "walking wounded, both in the leg and the pocketbook" Tornheim Arcadia "now with luggage!" Falcone (New and Improved! Arcadia 2001! -a) Jimmy "So what did I miss?" Kong Catherine "I want a 'book-off' with Arcadia" Osborne Swoop "the first" the First Robert "last minute arrival" McFarland #-#-#-#- And so the 0th purple meeting ended... -#-#-#-# }{}{}{}{}{ SWILNews #1 }{}{}{}{}{ Two purple days later, purple classes began. The Purple Shuttle had yet to purple, so the purple SWILlies traveled over many purple mountains, across many purple rivers, through many purple woods, to get to the purple campus. At the end of the purple week, they were, purpley, purple. Purple purple, purpley purpled purple. (Guess who's typing while Queen Amypurple's in the bathroom? -a) Ooooo-kay. So they purpled to their next purple meeting on Saturday. }{}{}{}{}{ Purple SWILBusiness }{}{}{}{}{ (There's not usually an adjective with SWILBusiness. -b) (It's not usually the second SWILNews. -q) (It's not usually purple. And that's a good thing! -b) (It's funny! -a) The rabble was so completely not purple, purply according to Kyla anyway. 9/4 Total Recall 9/11 Ladyhawke 9/18 Galaxy Quest 9/25 Buffy the (Purple -q) Vampire Slayer 10/2 Castle of Cagliostro 10/9 Superman II 10/16 (The Color Purple! -b) 10/23 Dark (Purple -a) Star 10/30 Toy Story 11/6 Willow 11/13 Tron 11/20 Princess Mononoke (Once upon a time, there was a purple princess-- -a) ( and/or Kyra . Introductions purpled. First the purple way, then the Kyla way. The Purple Pterodactyl Hunt is scheduled for October 6. (Purple conflicts have been checked, and none exist.) (Just like Elliot! -a) The Purple Wizards (in charge of the Hunt) are Rebecca J and BDan Purple . Purple Jennifer (Duh. -a) has absconded with herself. Nominate books, you purple illiterate people! Hollis is sketchy. Sketched in purple crayon. Budget Committee gave us purple permission to sell their things and pocket the money, provided our purple pocket is our account with them. To this purple end, we will be having a Purple Book Sale sometime. Renn Faire purples on Sunday. If you signed up, you'll be getting an email with purple information. (We won't airlift the Purple Minivan of Doom from Boston here. This is a good thing.) The temperature was lowered five degrees purple. (Why would you want to lower the purple? It's funny! -a) }{}{}{}{}{ Non Purple SWILBusiness }{}{}{}{}{ (There's no non-purple stuff in the purple joke! -a) Story reading happened in Greylock Three-O-Purple. Wink happened. Everyone is now purple. (Even if they're not under the table! -q) Jimmy showed Karo Kano by Gainex. By all accounts, it was a very purple anime. (Especially the hair. -a) Ilk, a purple filk a capella group, may be seeking more purple singers. Contact Ben . }{}{}{}{}{ Knights of the Rectangular Tables - 9/9/00 }{}{}{}{}{ John "Spam, eggs, bacon, and Spam" Finkbiner Arcadia "I get to read 300 pages of War and Peace per week! Yay!" Falcone (I'm scared. -q) (I get to translate 15 pages of Cicero per week! Yay! -a) (Mmmmmph! -b) Rebecca "Outpost does not take 'about 90 minutes.'" Paul Jen "why Do I have to be up at 9 for Lunch here" Picagli Rebecca "split personality" Jones Robert "divergence-free macaroni curls" McFarland (You broke Queen Amypurple! -a) Ivan "I'm off to check my tiger trap" Boothe Rebecca "let me be Frank" Kuipers (Ooh, that solves that problem! -abq) Peter "the Ghost of Mary Lyon Strikes Back!!" Ma Franzi "the little death" Dickson Drew "shaggy on crack" Szafran Jay "too good for a quote" Scott Jimmy "I am a serene (purple -a) knight. Serene (purple -b) damn it! Serene (purple -q)." Kong Josh "forward, twillingate morton's harbour, all around the circle!" Burdick Melissa "Mayhem, mayhem, mayhem!" Running (Purple, purple, purple! -a) Jennifer "Klompen" Tyson Eileen "scrogling froozle eep!" Thorsos (Oops, we broke Eileen. -q) Hollis "Uncle Neddy" Easter Mike "Who am I and why am I here?" O'Keefe (Mike O'Keefe, and to provide a purple M. -a) ~Elliot "I want Cosmic!" Reed benjamin 'evil people picking out the tofu and leving the overcooked peppers...' r, george & Callicles 'Reverse Cone' the Moose & Margaret 'Power of Dyslexia' the Camera Kyra "You are _NOT_!!!, to eat Cacuceica!" Jucovy Willa "Tartan Teddy" Bandler chaos "taxation without representation" golubitsky Laurel "You already numbered me," Evans Will "Peter, are you an orange?" Quale (We already told you, there is no orange here, only purple. -a) Kyla "die, orange joke! die! bad Will!" Tornheim BDan "Herne the Pterodactyl-Hunter" Fairchild Rachel "centripical squirrel" Kaufman Liv "oh I'm melting of the heat" Herriot (Really? I'm meeting of the licat. -q) Ross "D.O.A." Messing Matt "No epithet, yet" Fowles Ben "Very Dull" Masten Katrina "evil hazelnut creamer of doom. Yum." Mergen }{}{}{}{}{ And so the 1st meeting ended in turn. }{}{}{}{}{ Thus the purple students purpled their way through the purple semester, until it was time for final purple week. "No!" the students shouted, "not without a Reading Purple Week!" But the purple Registrar purpled not. (I like "purpled not"! It's a great phrase! -a) (Whoops. -a) (Frog. -q) Pointing to the purple classrooms, he told them... "Indigo!" (It's funny! -a) (You realize this is going to get us killed. -b) (It's funny! Funny funny funny! Bounce, bounce! -a) }{}{}{}{}{ Abi-Wan Kepurple, Ben Kepurple, and Queen Amypurple }{}{}{}{}{ (And when they still refused to enter, he shouted, "Mauve!" -a) (Is it done? -b)