The time: 5:20pm on Tuesday, November 6th The place: Sharples All right. Pull out your character sheets, get your dicebags ready, we're in for a jam-packed session of writing SWILNews! *** SWILBusiness *** Make a disorder roll... I see. Y'all suck. Jonathan, who rolled a critical failure, honked. No, don't ask me why. Make it fit your character. (I think it does. -g) Suddenly, you're attacked by a spell of BEM-Resistance. Roll to resist... I'm sorry. Your roll failed. The rabble seem to have missed yet another absolute-final-deadline. Better set it for next week. Everyone make a spot roll, now... oh well. This week's movie is Muppets from Space. What are you going to do? (I cast decipher script on IMDb. -d) You discover that Muppets from Space, this week's movie, is described as: Comedy, Science fiction / 1999 -- After Gonzo receives messages from his breakfast cereal, he determines that he is an alien and tries to contact his alien brethren, but is captured by an overzealous secret government agency determined to prove the existence of extraterrestrial life. It's up to Kermit and the gang to rescue Gonzo and help reunite him with his long-lost family. Now what do you want to do? (I want to go! Muppets from Space is an awesome movie! I'm so glad we're showing it THIS WEEK. -s) (Let's hit people over the head a few more times. -d) (Everybody has an evil twin, but who has an evil siamese twin? -s) (Shut up. -s) Since you're going to level up in two weeks, think about what movies you will be selecting at the next level. Remember, we're only allowing movie spells from the science fiction, fantasy, and anime domain. You're not sophisticated enough for anything else. (I call for nominations from the rabble! -g) The rabble are highly responsive, and nominate movies up the wazoo! You're going to be wading through those forever. (Tell me something I *don't* know. -d) You encounter the Wizard of Speed and Time [echo echo echo]. (Is there any way we can get him to join our party? -s) (Maybe we can buy him with Gold! -d) (Hey! -g) (Oooooh. I like that idea. -s) (I don't! Darkness! -s) The Wizard agrees to join you forever and ever if you shut up. Make a spot roll... hmm. You see nothing. Nominate books, you stupid illiterate people. (Hey! I'm a barbarian! It's not my fault! -d) (Hey! I already nominated a book! I'm neither stupid nor illiterate! -Snibor Eoj) (Can I roll to overcome the rabble's natural indolence and force them to nominate books for me? -g) Yes. Oooooh. You passed. The rabble are now required to nominate books. (I have an evil idea. -s) (Uh-oh. -s) (Can I use a wish spell to redefine the gravitational constant of the Universe to be purple? -s) That requires something much stronger than a simple spell. That requires an... Unnecessary SWILVote. You pass anyway. (Why did my evil siamese twin get to be the wizard? -s) (Because you're the nature cleric, Stone. -d) (Oh, yeah. Hey. Look at my hands. No, I mean, really *look* at my hands. -s) Make a spot roll. Sorry, lost again. *** Sentience Proof *** Qian, wishing to take a level in the non-member prestige class, must first prove her sentience. To do this, she is going to eat SPAM, and then ingest Ipecac to... uneat SPAM. (No! Don't do it! Nooooooooo! Let's just declare her sentient RIGHT NOW! -The Rabble) No further questions are asked. *** SWILLottery *** Darkness wins a duck. (Do you want to do something with your duck? -g) (Mmmm... duck a l'orange... -s) ( -g) (It's my loyal duck follower. -d) (Duck: the Barbarian? -s) (Duck: the Mini-Barbarian. -g) (Duck! The barbarian! (is swinging -s) -s) ( -d) Everyone make spot rolls. God. You suck. (No I don't. -God) (Shut up. You're dead. -Nietzche) *** NonSWILBusiness *** This week's MST3K movie is Red Zone Cuba. (Can I run away in horror? -s) Feel free. All of you. I'm going to give you a -2 shock penalty to your speed, though. There was a filksing, but you have missed it. Too bad, because lots of people were there. Witness the power of the Bard. (Shakespeare was there? Cool! -d) Chaos sends a postcard from Hawail. Sonia says hi. (Hi! -SWIL) Not in Chaos' postcard, though. Nick has 10lbs of SimCity cards in his backpack. What do you do? (Raid his backpack! Raid his backpack! -g) (Oooooh... brigandage! -s) You each collect 8 booster packs. They may be used for Fun (TM). Three of you also get a Rulebook of Maxis. (Can I detect magic on the Rulebook of Maxis? -s) Yes, but you're gonna have to role a spotcheck first. Everyone fails AGAIN. What *is* it with you people? If you want to see the new movie Amelie next Friday, contact Arcadia. () Ben Newman's birthday is the day after the Harry Potter movie comes out in 2 weeks. BC has been trying to organize a showing via the Fun list, too. Everyone should get their acts together. Go on. Contact one of them. DoubleStar's Masquerade Ball will be on November 17th. Darkness has the invitations, so contact him to get one. Spotchecks? Crap. I hate you. *** The Attendance List of Big Gobs of Tuna Salad--Eeeewwww! -- 11/3/01 *** Arcadia "wandering through the Waste Land" Falcone Lady of "why couldn't I have been written by Eliot?" Falcone Qian "The Compassionate IPECAC" Li MARK "I SUPPOSE THIS IS A FORM OF CAPITAL PUNISHMENT" HANDLER (Can I hit him? -s) Alexander "moi bren huts!" Flurie Will "I'm not really left-handed" Quale (I'm not really human. -g) (I thought you were never really human. -s) (Do those conflict in some way? -g) (No. Just sayin'. -s) Russell "I want my funk uncut" McDaniel JONATHAN "TO BE PROVEN SENTIENT BY 4-15-03 (PROJECTED)" SCHNEIDER ~Sam " \heartsuit smoochies \heartsuit " Crane Nick "I have 10 pounds of SimCity cards in my backpack, and there's nothing you can do to stop me!!" Ward (Oh really? Have you *looked* in your backpack recently? -d) Abby "You can see my hair in China!" Friedman Robert "contravariant purple" McFarland Amy' "I'm in favor of purple" Marinello John "we shoulda made her eat it" Finkbiner (You are a sick, sick man. -s) Rebecca "No Don't Prove it!" Jones Kyra "My hands aren't going to Hell. They're going to Jotunheim!" Jucovy benjamin 'egregious, yet sesame!' r, george & the 'purple! purple!" nameless pterodactyl. ~Elliot "You spell it S-A-N-T-A C-L-A-U-S. Hooray for Santy Claus!" Reed (Yay! Yay! -s) Katie "like, I'm not a valley girl or whatever" McAlister Rachel "the bigger one" Sapiro Naomi "Mini Rachel" Sapiro Ben "):ilk" Newman (I cannot render a bass cleft in ASCii. Come ON people. -g) (Especially ex-presidents! tsk tsk. -s) Rebecca "But I don't like tuna salad" Paul : ) (But it's good for the eyes. -d) BDan "not an individual" Fairchild Ben "gravitational constant" Mitchell (I like the implication that Ben is purple. -g) Lisa "just get back from shopping turcel tired" Spitalewitz *** Gold, Stone, and Darkness *** One last spotcheck... Yes! Finally! There's a giant pterodactyl RIGHT BEHIND YOU! You are now dead. (There was something else to spot, too. Y'all just blew it. Ask Rebecca Paul. She's rolling better than you two tonight. -d) (No, we're just being discreet about it. -g) (But what about the rabble? -s)