From daniel @ sccs.swarthmore.edu Tue Jun  3 22:28:28 2003
Date: Wed, 11 Sep 2002 20:54:29 -0400 (EDT)
From: BDan Fairchild 
Reply-To: Presidents 
To: The SWIL List:  ;
Subject: Nutrition Facts for SWILNews #1

(what are you typing, dear?  dear?  dear?  don't make me 
come over there with the tabasco! -k)

Serving Size 1 ***SWILBusiness*** (26.762 (10)^15 Teslas)
Amount Per Serving
Calories 42                          Calories from Fat 73

                                            % Daily Value

Rabble (14 knaves)             Less pathetic than usual %
Total Crystal (2 pieces)                     36,524,800 %
  Dark Crystal (1 SWILMovie)                Last Monday %
  Dilithium Crystals (14 slugs)                   1,243 %
  Dark City (1 SWILMovie)                   Next Monday %
RenFaire (15 September)                         All day %
  Departs (Parrish Circle)                      8:30 am %
Important Things (0 Gigaflops)                        0 %
  At Meeting (0 picozwicks)                           0 %
    Yet (0 Joule-toasters)                            0 %
Bug Eyed Magazine (n submissions)            not enough %
  SWIL's publication        Science Fiction and Fantasy %
    Art (accepted)                           Submit Now %
    Prose (accepted)                       Don't Be Shy %
    Poetry (accepted)                    This Means You %
  Deadline (Absolute and Final)           Feb. 28, 2003 %
  Send Submissions to (bem @ swil.org)                  6 %
Vitamin Lambda	(O(n^2))                             22 %
Pterodactyl Hunt (Infinite Fun)                  Oct. 4 %
Cordwainer Bird (many books)          Cornell Top Floor %
Lottery (1 drawing)                                 700 %
  Winner (Greg)                                      13 %
  Prize (Yellow SWILShirt)                      Hideous %


Preparation Instructions for ***NonSWILBusiness***

1. Divide in half.  Set one portion aside and bring the
other to Parrish Parlours for gaming last Saturday.

2. Take remaining portion and season with McNary's to
taste.  Bring to gaming in Phoenixville last Saturday.

3. The cheese stands alone.  If the cheese does not stand
alone, add confectioner's sugar until it does.

4. Stir, whip, stir, whip, whip whip, stir in contra 
dance last Saturday until well dizzied.

5. Take John.  Make Amy' give him a Giant Purple Frog 
Backpack.  Discard John.

6. Make Ben prepare the rest of the meal, because he can
still cook.  Cooking will occur in Greylock 301, and will 
sometimes be vegetarian.  Further details and times will 
be announced on the fun list.

7. Strike JC repeatedly with pastry blender.

8. Macrowave for 8 semesters or until thoroughly 
befuddled.  Serves pi/3.


Ingredients:
The Attendance List of Suffering a Grisly and Untimely 
Death if you steal THE PURPLE PEN
(contains
~Elliot "Losing Misery Poker" Reed
BDan "Fraud against Nature" Fairchild
benjamin '.... and the android's lab partner is dead 
	too.' r, george
Callicles 'thip!' the Moose
Qian "Yellowjackets!" Qian
John "GPFB - giant purple frog backpacks" Finkbiner
Adam "Lord of the Cadavers" Oleksa
Katie "Fear the Librarian" McAlister
Kyra "giant goats and Rutger Hauer" Jucovy
Greg "" Robinson
JC "Idrys" Ravage
Rachel "Not a napkin today, it seems." Sapiro
Arthur "Arthur" Chu
Nick "I couldn't finish my paper because SWIL ate my 
	Purple Pen TM" Ward
Kexlsey Hollenback
Magic "Death and Destruction" Loops
The 'Glass Tomato' Nameless Pterodactyl
Jim "this compass must be broken - the hands haven't 
	moved all meeting" Moskowitz)


Contains 2 % or less of the following:
Ruly (Callicles the Moose, an emulsifier), 
Kempt (benjamin r, george, to preserve freshness),
Sheveled (~Elliot Reed, to enhance flavor)
Couth (BDan Fairchild, to improve viscosity)
sIpid (Rachel Sapiro, a sweetener)

(What's the opposite of an emulsifier? -c)
(i don't know.  what does an emulsifier do, anyway? -k)
(It emulsifies. -i)