From daniel @ sccs.swarthmore.edu Tue Jun 3 22:28:58 2003 Date: Wed, 2 Oct 2002 21:25:22 -0400 (EDT) From: BDan Fairchild Reply-To: presidents @ swil.org To: The SWIL List: ; Subject: Noam Chomsky's Minimalist SWILNews #4 (I have a theme! -s) (What is it? -c) (You'll see in a moment: -s) (Kiwi fruit, it's the fruit that is so cute. Kiwi kiwi kiwi is the key kiwi kiwi you and me, for kiwi kiwi kiwi kiwi fruit. It's got itsy-bitsy seeds on the inside... -s) (Sheveled has been confined for his own protection, and the protection of others. -c) (we should see how many layers of self-reference we can get into the comments. -k) ***SWILAnnouncements*** Pterodactyl Hunt: Monster Orientation at 6:30 pm, Sharples Patio. Hunter Orientation at 7:30pm, Sharples Patio. Prisoner showing will be sometime (not Friday) on the weekend. Storyreading after SWILMeeting on Saturday, in Dartmouth House, Apartment G-3. Email qian @ sccs for more info. SWILMovie next Monday will be Monty Python and the Holy Grail. ***SWILBusiness*** The Rabble were even more pathetic than usual. Uncle Callicles wanted you to buy a SWIL 24th Reunion Shirt. Unfortunately, you've already missed the deadline. Expect his Death Squads of Love (tm) to pay you a visit. An unnecessary SWILVote renamed the light of Comma's head to Oath, so that Comma would always be under Oath. A second vote redefined down so that he would always be under Oath. Doublestar had an all-night storyreading that did not last all night, but we love them anyway. BDan requested that he be granted the title of Minister of Sports, or MiniSport. We voted him Minister of Sporks, or MiniSpork. Sentience Proof: Abigail Sarah Friedman '02 and '03 Abby is a current student, but she is also a dinosaur, because we remembered her last year. This is a paradox. The only solution to this paradox was for us to dismember her and make her not a dinosaur again. She then threatened to write slash and submit it to BEM if we didn't declare her sentient. We voted her sentient so she would submit slash to BEM. At her own request, she was not dismembered. Lottery: Ben Newman won a pocket slide rule in the Lottery. ***NonSWILBusiness*** Nick wrote down that Qian got a haircut. We voted that Jonathan should stop talking about molesting cats. Then we voted that he should stop talking. Then we voted that he should start again. The Linguistics Professor is a sexy German. The Attendance List of Having Itsy-Bitsy Seeds on the Inside Abby "not with _my_ sex life I don't" Friedman Rebecca "give me five minutes, right now!" Kuipers Nick "Oooo... lemon poppyseed muffinnn... " Ward MARK "OF DEATH" HANDLER JC "Irene" Ravage Adrian "five minutes for nine Evas... that's thirty-three point three seconds each! hmmm..." Packel Genoveffa "Genoveffa" Genoveffa Ethan "Doods Bandelier" Sherrard Rachel "Is Abby talking about kiwi fruit again?" Sapiro Ben "oh, bother - I can't think of a quote" Newman David "Waittaminit! Did I remember to put underwear today!?" Benitez <- (This is greek letter beta) (Put what? -c) (under where? -k) Kyra "Gnostic and subtle." Jucovy JONATHAN "THE MERRY MODEL OF A MODERN MAJOR JEW" SCHNEIDER* Qian "610 541 0249" Qian BDan "MiniSpork" Fairchild ~Elliot "Kiwi" Reed benjamin 'ummm...' r, george Callicles 'Death Squads of Love' the Moose *THIS FOOTNOTE POSTS TO "THE DAILY JOLT" WITHOUT SHAME OR IRONY GRITS & MAPLE SYRUP ON THE BOTTOM OF YOUR STUFFED PARROT!! Ruly, Kempt, Sheveled, and Couth