From daniel @ sccs.swarthmore.edu Tue Jun 3 22:30:12 2003 Date: Tue, 26 Nov 2002 20:10:14 -0500 (EST) From: BDan Fairchild Reply-To: presidents @ swil.org To: The SWIL List: ; Subject: SWILNews #10 is Barely Legal ***SWILAnnouncements*** Presidential Nominations: Nominations for candidates for SWILPresident will be the Saturday after Thanksgiving Break. Presidential Elections: Voting for SWILPresidents will be the Saturday after that. Platforms for candidates will be announced at this time, so don't hesitate to write one for your favorite candidates (provided they've been nominated). The Two Towers: December 18th, 12:01 am. Email Matt at jbulnes1 if you want to go and haven't already signed up. SWILMovie: Monday, December 2nd's SWILMovie is The President's Analyst. DEAR FRIEND, I AM FORMER EMPEROR OF FRANCE NAPOLEON III. I AM WRITING TO YOU IN STRICTEST CONFIDENCE. WHILE I WAS EMPREOR, I ACCUMULATED MANY PORNOGRAPHIC PICTURES OF *HOT* STUDENTS AT PRESTIGIOUS *BARELY LEGAL* NON-ACCREDITED UNIVERSITIES USING *AMAZING* WEIGHT-LOSS PRODUCTS WHILE WORKING FROM HOME. UNFORTUNATELY, WHEN I WAS FORCED TO FLEE THE COUNTRY, MY DASTARDLY POLITICAL ENEMIES HAVE FROZEN MY ACCOUNTS. I AM ASKING YOUR HELP WITH ***SWILBusiness*** SUBMIT to BEM!! BE A SUCCESSFUL AND ATTRACTIVE BUG EYED MAGAZINE CO-ED! Work from home editing a science fiction and fantasy literary magazine at a prestigious, actually accredited women's rugby powerhouse! TIRED OF BEING LOCKED INTO A BORING, DEAD-END JOB BECAUSE YOU ARE ILLITERATE? NOMINATE BOOKS!!! FOR THE CORDWAINER BIRD!! SCIENCE FICTION LIBRARY. I WOULD LIKE TO SECURE YOUR HELP IN TRANSFERRING THE SUM OF THREE (3) US DOLLARS ($) TO MY ATTORNEY, NICOLAS WARD, FOR THE PURPOSE OF BUYING FOOD FOR THE SWIL PRESIDENTIAL INAUGURATION AT THE BEGINNING OF NEXT SEMESTER. PLEASE GIVE HIM THE MONEY IN ADVANCE. I WILL GIVE YOU THIRTY-FIVE (35) PERCENT (%) OF THIS SUM WHEN I RECONQUER LUXEMBOURG. fortunately, my former business asocciate, ~elliot reed, is still alive. however, he doesn't exist, so he won't be of much help in yyour efforts to LOSE ONE METRIC TON (2,000 BRITISH POUNDS (#)) IN THIRTEEN (13) MINUTES (MIN.). (max. -k) Investment opportunities have NEVER been more open! In fact, NOTHING has happened at meeting yet! Vice President. IN ORDER TO SECURE YOUR HELP IN TRANSFERRING THE HOT **PICTURES** FROM MY ARGENTINIAN BANK ACCOUNTS, I ASK YOU TO MEET WITH MY REPRESENTATIVES AT THE CHORUS CONCERT AND THE BUFFY SHOWING, BOTH OF WHICH WERE AT 8 O'CLOCK (post meridiem) LAST SATURDAY. The Attendance List of _SHORT_ Movie descriptions Greg "Regicide for Dummies" Robinson Abby "If you know the name of the king or queen being murdered, press one" Friedman Ethan " " Jucovy JC "Audley" Ravage MARK "I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT SHORT AND STOUT. HERE IS MY" HANDLER "AND HERE IS MY SPOUT" Nick "The Dark Lord Lives" Ward Rachel "Sul will be my SWIL coat." Sapiro Katie "High Velocity Squirrels would be a good band name" McAlister Adam "The sky is raining fire, the earth is fragmenting, and I feel fine" Oleksa Adrian "not actively disliking Aristotle--do I need to be shot?" Packel Rebecca "the R is silent" Kuipers David "...Was always at this SWILmeeting but no one noticed!" Benitez Kyra "Timothy Leary is dead." Jucovy BDan "I vant to suck your chocolate" Fairchild Azazel "Can somebody help me with this button?" the PowerBook ~Elliot "&%*.: you, Larry Westphal!!" Reed Ben "with soy sauce" Newman The Attendance list "finally remembering to sign in" benjamin "really here" r, george Callicles "I have my doubts." the Moose TO SECURE THE INITIAL TRASFER, PLEASE SEND ALL YOUR CREDIT CARD NUMBERS AND A CASHIER'S CHECK FOR TEN THOUSAND (10,000) U.S. DOLLARS ($) TO MY ASSOCIATES, Ruly, Kempt, Sheveled, and Couth