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/* This Week in SWIL */
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Sign up to be a monster or a squire in the Pterodactyl Hunt! E-mail [hunt @ swil.org] and encourage your friends to do the same!

Monday, September 22nd - SWILMovie: Metropolis (the anime version), 10pm, Science Center 101

Saturday, September 27th - SWILMeeting, Noon, Sharples 4

Saturday, September 27th - SWIL Saturday Night: Storyreading, 7pm, CRC in Parrish

Anytime: Come to George (Parrish 5th) and make swords! Find someone who knows the combination if you don't know it.

Friday, October 3rd - Pterodactyl hunt

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/* SWILNews #3 */
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//SWILNews #3, Hunams 0//

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/* SWILBusiness */
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Q. What's the rabble like?

A. Big and pathetic.

Q. How would you describe a Pterodactyl?

A. A cardboard-winged terror that flaps in the night. (Dark-wing duck! Let's... get... DANGEROUS! -t)

Q. What's the coolest thing about this week's movie?

A. It's an animated remake of the original version.

Q. What makes Saturday Night SWIL so much fun?

A. Broken limbs and rugburn.

Q. Why should next week's Saturday Night SWIL (a storyreading) not be co-sponsored by the rugby team?

A. They'll want to have it in a frat, not the CRC.

Q. Why should we show the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy TV series?

A. Cause it'd be fun?

Q. Should stupid, illiterate people nominate books?

A. Yes, it might give Qian, Keeper of George, something to do.

Q. Should I submit to BEM?

A. Of course.

Q. Does going to RenFaire count as going to meeting?

A. Yes, because it makes Lisa eligible for having been at three consecutive meetings.

Q. Did anything important happen at meeting?

A. Eliza Blair proved sentience with her reflection.

Q. Can sentient beings control photons?

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/* Lottery */
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A. Well, Rachel won a glowstick.

Q. Why didn't Rachel pick the Mystery Bowl?

A. Because everyone wanted her to be a raver.

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/* Non-SWILBusiness */
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Q. Why is Mai showing the Horatio Hornblower TV mini-series in ML at 2 pm on Sundays?

A. It might be better than going to see Underworld with Sam and Comma.

Q. My head just exploded. Is that a problem?

A. Yes. You won't be able to listen to the Orchestra 2001 concert of Chinese music.

Q. Should I get tickets to the Philly orchestra?

A. Yes, if you show up right before the concert, they're only $8, and Qian might want to go with you.

Q. Isn't this supposed to be the end?

A. There's always room for one more!

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/* The Oracle */
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//Attendance List of Won (1)//

Qian "Belum mandi" Qian (I am the blue rajah! -t) (Aw, stick a fork in it! -d)

M. Jawaad "Somewhat Lost (-1)" Hussain

"Marduk" Andrew Conforti "The Devil" (He still doesn't understand the format... of course, if he had gotten SWILNews on Time... -d) (It's not my fault! -t) (I thought you fixed the hyperdrive! -dw) (When Palpatine comes to power, he'll make the hyperdrive run on Time! -w) (Ouch! -t)

Jillian "I've *still* got duct tape in my purse" Waldman (I've got a pistol in my shoe. -d) (I've got a wocket in my pocket. -t) (Oh, you mean you're not happy to see me? -d) (It's not worth a purity point, it's not worth a purity point... -t)

Rebecca "Agent 99" Goldman

Harold (Manoli) "Byronix" Strecker (I think you'd prefer Baron von Strecker. -t) (We can promote him at the next meeting! -w)

Alex "Still purple like a fox" Pshenichkin (Sorry about that, I cast the wrong spell. -t) (Well, at least you got his last name right! -d)

Jerome "me Psychic" Fung (And he didn't even see the grammar in the previous SWILNews! He must really be psychic! -d)

Ben "Creature Creator" Newman (It's a spawn point! Destroy it! -t)

Anthony Manfredi (He gets a nickname! -d) (I know... can we call him Fred? -w) (Does he like playing games? -d)

Susan "Entropy" Zell (So you're the one who's making it a little warm in here. -d) (And on top of that, you broke my favorite... well... everything! -t) (Yeah, well you sank my battleship! -w)

Ross "I selled out Bush's CAR!" Messing

Adrian "caterva unius SUM!!!" Packel (Are you a Horde of One? -t) (Is that what you're trying to say? -d) (Shaka, when the walls fell! -t)

Miriam "Smiling a lot" Newman

Jackie "Double plus good!" Werner (So that's good++++? -d) (Well, there are two of her... -t) (Yes, and they're criminal masterminds! -w)

Eliza "Morituri Nurimos Mori" Blair (What did you call me? -d) (Anyone speak latin? -d) (Adrian does. -w) (Heghlu'meH QaQ jajavam! -t) (aahhhh... -d) (Well, with all of this Latin, today *is* a good day to die! -t) (Just move on... -d)

Katie "Arrr! Who says that you can only talk like a pirate one day a year?" McAlister (Well, that's generally policy. If you do it again, I'm going to make you walk the plank! -d)

Lisa "<crossed out>I almost managed 3 consecutive weeks.</crossed out> I did! Ha!" Spitalewitz

~Sam "The pterodactyl hunt will be _fair_ and _balanced_. Sort of like Fox News!" Crane

benjamin 'Fritz! Fritz! Fritz! Fritz!' r, george (Why are you chanting my former roommate's name? -t)

B.C. "the interior decorator" Phillips (Good, you can help out with the George remodelling. -t)

Raoul "Art-deco decadence: Robo-style!" Bagley (Well, whatever floats your boat! -d) (You sunk my battleship! -t)

Jean "Duct tape is powerful and should be kept out of the hands of those who would use it for evil" Schneider (Well, we'll keep it away from you then. Unless, of course, we need to use it for handcuffs. -t)

DOPEY "ROOM FULLA RABBLE" GALOSHES * (And I thought that was just going to die. -d) (Can't you make it die? -t)

ANONYMOUS (Mindy) (Weak. -d) (That's not even a disguise! -t) (Don't worry, she'll be back next weak. -w)

Mai "Aye aye, sir!" Pucik (Mai ayes are dim, I cannot see. -d) (That would deplete the world's stockpile of <SMACKS!>. -t)

Horatio "Ha-h'm" Hornblower (Hoom. -ent)

Chris "Cult! Cult! Cult!" Segal (Does that explain Comma going on the fritz? -d) (I couldn't possibly comment. -w) (You just did. -t)

Rachel "HOBGOBLIN PRIDE!!" Sapiro (All hail Queen Rachel! -t) (I thought hobgoblins hunted in packs, not prides. -d)

Michael "To paraphrase Geothe, we need more _light_ in here" Noda (No duh. -t) (<SMACK!> -d)

B.C. "Doppelganger" Phillips (The interior decorators! They're everywhere! AAAAAAUUUGGGGGGHHHH!!! -t)

Lord of the Morning (Okay. -d) (Who was that? -t)

JR "monkey" (See above comments. -dtw)

Nick "I am the nurd that flaps in the night..." Ward (Yeah, Dorkwing Duck! -t)

MARK "IF I HAD A COW, I'D MILK IN THE MORNING, I'D MILK IT IN THE EVENING, ALL OVER MY HAND..." HANDLER (Would you milk out Justic, Freedom, or the American Way? -t) (It's love between my brothers and my sisters! -w) (Isn't that the American Whey? -d) (<SMACK!> -tw)

JC "Smacks himself with a fun noodle repeatedly." Ravage (Stop it, you'll damage the foam monsters! -t)

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/* The End */
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Thanks to our guest, Ent. We originally requested him for the first SWILNews last semester. He finally decided to come. (About Time he got here. -t) (It's a good thing he didn't show up in a few more weeks and decide that we were orcs! -w) (I don't know, it might take him longer to decide that than the hunt committee! -d)

First Q: What's the rabble like?

Last A: There's always room for one more!

Dial 1-900-4ORACLE to reach out and <SMACK!> someone,
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