From jgoldie @ sccs.swarthmore.edu Wed Nov 17 13:32:14 2004 Date: Wed, 17 Nov 2004 12:56:18 -0500 (EST) From: Jillian G. Waldman Reply-To: presidents @ swil.org To: SWILnews Subject: Swell Gnus! Numb her. Nein! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~ Some hurry off [EVENTS] at me tin can din the necks tweak: ~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Movie nominations were this week - movie voting email to follow. Presidential nominations are next saturday, with elections on Dec 4th. Think of things to nominate! SFDT topid will be sex/gender roles in science fiction. SNS is still undetermined - if you want to run something in that timeslot, email [FUN]! Mary Wootters, Emmanuelle Wambach, and Mike Karcher proved sentience. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~ SWELLgnus - numb her. Nein? ~ ~ transcribed by Jamison, esq. ZERT ~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~[[*SWELL bistro Ness*]]~~ The Rome Philled two have aft era disturbingly lo(!) Earl l33+ urn owt. ([chris] i hate you all [/chris] -g) Hoo for"gets" Abby firs twins. Jillian one, F. git mean stew hug. Mark diss cover edda press her differ rental. The meat ink well bee culled too this odor in duh passed. Wean traduced hour sell vest oooh abbey. (eearlily shout nock. eearlily should be an adverb. it would bean "in an early way in the past" because of the argument j. edgar hoover's life was a lie. a horrible, unending lie. he was not made of eggnog. don't cross the beams. endless ice cream. The "no pants" edict of 399 ad actually happened. -jamison's notes) Firs tight 'em Purl erg aims less tweak fur Saturn Dane knights SWELL in break fest ruin at seven, sex for food. (*high-pitched moan* -g) (how are we supposed to interpret "high-pitched moan?" -v) (high pitch demon -g) (*giggles* -t) F1 vicious toe hose this weak's SNS, opposed two FUN. SFDT tall pick... Mai clay miss that sects teen two sever teenth cent hurry whim men Ur knot sigh Ents fiction. Cling ons lick shake spear. (gort nock. how about "pallour" games, that reminds me of death. those who anger me meet for pallour games tonight in hell. me no write write. they are. sounds like it belongs on this half. -j) (we don't even need to make comments! we just have the notes! -v) Hard ocelot tea is Bayes dawn knot bee ink ear ochre ding toe Noda. (if everyone dies, there will be peace. -j) Susan ex horsed them yews too four sussed oooh right poet tree S. slay vest ooh BEM. (this line is breaking down. *arrow to page divider between real half and jamison's half* -j) Know know know know. Susan book AIM Andrew. [Latin]Nomen[/Latin] ate books hew stew pid (dle iterate -t) pee poll. Eye ate ever E. won. (if death becomes andrew, does that mean susan is death? -j) (no, it means susan is mark. -v) (if i weren't typing, i would hit you. -t) Mai ex planed Spider-man siphon. (i think it's his secret weapon. -j) Mark axed acorn fused pub lick, "Is there's SWELL bass Ness?" (horp! mary does not but begins to doubt it. -j) Mai gits tick cold buy Abby. F. git mean stew bee tick cold buy Abby, Mai wince. (and it does. -j) Mary real ices sith hat stew prove cent shunts. Emmanuelle diss sided two prove cent shunts. (if being called a doll by Abby means to get her, Emmanuelle wins. -j) ~~[[*cinch hunts proofs*]]~~ Mary Katherine Wootters: She stated that the components of sentience are animacy and "vaguely defined thinking." She then claimed that she was obviously more sentient than a rock, if only because her animate component was so much greater than the rock's animate component, even if neither could think. However, if we caffeinated a rock sufficiently, she claimed that it could become sentient. Mary is so constantly caffeinated (on her fourth or fifth cup for the day) that, by this logic, she must be sentient. Indeed, if we drank her blood, it would sustain us for a full night. She said that the amount of blood in her coffee was negligible. Noda asked if her addiction made her sentient. Somebody asked if the fact that she was animated meant that if we dropped an anvil on her, she would live. We didn't have an anvil, but Mark had a rock in his backpack. He also had brick and sheep and wood. We talked about dropping rock, brick, and sheep on each other, and somebody mentioned rock-brick slash (NO NO NO NO - j). Then Mai said something about a rock, regular eggs, ruddy complexions, and making love. We voted that it should go on the ML quote board, but she attacked the piece of paper Jillian wrote it down on. Fortunately, Eliza rescued it. Mikio wanted to see the rock drink coffee. Mary talked about the vector components of sentience. We wondered whether if we put the rock near coffee, it would drink it. We voted her sentient because she was caffeinated, unless it was because everyone sang "Bananaphone" loudly and for a long time. We dismembered her by taking her head. Emmanuelle Maryse Wambach: Long, long ago, when we proved Jamison sentient, we made the mistake of saying that anyone who thinks Jamison's antics are adorable is sentient. This was a dangerous precedent, and we're going to deny that it happened. However, Jamison's notes read: "She finds me adorable, and is sentient because of it. She kissed me on the head! She is also cuter than everyone else." Since Emmanuelle is cuter than everyone else, we then proceeded to prove that she was a sentient stuffed animal. We voted her to be a stuffed animal because her hair was poufy and fuzzy and matched her clothes, she has big brown eyes, a tag with washing instructions, and was demonstrated by Mike to be soft and squeezable. Jamison said that when his brother used to drive a car, he had a stuffed monkey in the back seat and it crashed repeatedly. Stuffed animals who make people do things are therefore sentient. (And occasionally evil, but it would be silly to think Emmanuelle was evil.) Emmanuelle had used her powers to make Jamison (err... Andrew -v) buy the sparkly 42nd street cloak at RenFaire, but not everyone witnessed that. She ordered us to vote her sentient. Oddly enough, almost everyone raised their hands. As a result, we dismembered her and took her tag. Michael David Karcher: By definition, sentience is self-awareness. Even computers could be sentient, if they believed in themselves. Mike then raised a number of supporting points for his sentience. Although he hates character proofs, Mike claimed that he was a spinoff character who wasn't aware of it, and then realized it, demonstrating that he was aware of himself. There was more support for the hatred of character proofs than for the spinoff, at least among the presidents. He asked Emmanuelle to stand up, and claimed that the two of them were a Gestalt entity, aware of each other, and therefore self-aware as an entity. Then he let her sit down. He said that his proof was a mixture of logic, illogic, creativity, and imitation, wherein lay the rub. He then pointed out that he had misquoted Shakespeare, and "merely because he wanted to", sang the first verse of Gilbert & Sullivan's "Modern Major General", while holding an applehammer, which he had apparently imbued with new powers. His proof contained logic - he had done something that had been done before, illogic - because it was completely useless to do what had been done before, creativity - because he had made up the proof, and imitation - because he'd copied most of his ideas from other people's proofs. We voted him sentient because he was a proof-whore, and took his zipper. (The one on his shirt, silly -v) (Oddly enough, Jamison's notes reflect an entirely different reality for Mike's proof: (Finlay exhorts us to vomit. Mark steps in. I moved my sandwich around so it looked like it was talking with Mike's voice. Confusion. Me work in robotpartsland. Part DOS. NOT MS! OR H.M.S. The rub lies in us. Shakespeare is a computer. Quadratical! Ahhhh! I'm stopping paying attention. Mike proved sentient for being a proof-whore. -j) Well, the two descriptions agree on one thing... -v) ~~[[*Lot eerie*]]~~ the lot eerie was culled. Emmanuel one. (lotterdor - j) She wanna bic heads pie der, man? (note the lack of hyphen. -j) (you know, it's bad if jamison's comments make things more intelligible -t) (that's the point -v) (where are you taking them? -j) (i don't know. -j) ~~[[*anon SWELL bistro Ness*]]~~ move eat tree pea M. n. lounge - MST3K F. am let, shewn buy Jackie. (wish i didn't have d'n'd. ... i don't. -j) "wend well toes germ ends learn?" (never. when did this become a question-answer thing? -j) went oooh sea Mark you's a plunger? the jazz con certain was Saturn Dane. (no one will see this exhortation but me. :( -j) Jamison S. chewing Stir Whores freak went Lee. Finlay n Kit went two shew ray drawer [Vietnamese]pho[/Vietnamese]. F. re: won pate Ed the squishy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~ Attendance List of Spider-man is fuzzy and pregnant (or, ~ ~ Grande uses a terminal program that's not internet based ~ ~ and from Windows, just to mock Venti) (who said that?! ~ ~ *looks around suspiciously* -v) ~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Susan "Top of the List" Zell (/me looks at clock. waits. Top of the morning. It's 12:00 AM -g) Abby "talk to the stigmata" Friedman (no thanks -g) Michael "Three stars in the Michelin" Nod (yes, that's how he wrote it -g) Mary "Meh." Wooters Marie "not reversed" Cosgrove-Davies seivaD-evorgsoC "reversed" eiraM (e- ?reversed naem uoy t'nod) Eliza "also Alex" Blair Alex "I'm in our nation's capital" Pshenichkin (Gee Alex, what girly handwriting you have this week -g) Mike "King Arthur is dead!" Karcher (Long live King Arthur! -g) Emmanuelle "Lancelot Rules" Wambach Lauren "Fuck you all (intransitive)" Smith Jamison "Garfror nifficence lives in YOO" Venger Jamison Lauren "Ale and whores" Goodfriend (whale and ores? What is this, Moby Dick? -g) Mikio "Yes Luke...take this sword and give it to me _HARD_" Palpatine (whimper -g) Qian "I slept in ML" Qian (so did I, what's the big deal? -g) Jillian "I sing the body fixed noninertial reference frame" Waldman Mai "Spider-man has a hyphen, goddamnit!" Pucik I backs again, yep, me, ol' Kentucky Jamison Tim "If I thought life was straight lines I'd be working for the highway department" Whalen (if it's anything like the bridge department, it's not that bad -g) Katie "mistress of the mess" McAlister finlay "bork bork bork" logan Johnny Cash, the Man in Black. (Amen, brother, amen -g) Ben "The first rule of GRE is, you do not talk about GRE" Newman Michael "Why can't I think of a clever nickname?" Cohen (how about: I shot a man in Reno, just to see him die (see above comment) -g) Johann "I have too many children" Sebastian Bach. (just don't name any of them Sue (see comment above above comment -g) Elias "Finnish myth is cool!" Lonnrot (am not going to talk about Kullervo, am not going to talk about Kullervo -g) Jamison "Jamison" Jamison (beetlejuice, beetlejuice, beetlejuice -g) Kit "Kit" Kit (see above comment -g) MARK "PUFFY LIPS" HANDLER sigh ninny cough, towel, ground day, invent tea