SUMMARY **************** **SWILBusiness** * The Pterodactyl Hunt is still happening October 6th. If you're a special monster and you're doing anything the Oracle should know, talk to Andrew. Stuffmaking will be happening at SWILMovie. * SNS was parlour gaming; next week, it's moving George to the shiny new SWIL lounge in Parrish LL 16. * SWILMovie is Serenity, 10 PM, SCCS Video Pit. If you want to help make stuff for the Hunt (shields, swords, etc.), we'll be making things either while watching the movie or in the Media Lounge while it's going on. *SWILReunion is happening next weekend. Next week's SWILMeeting will be held in the small room for soon-to-be-obvious reasons. There's a belltower tour before meeting at 10:30, there's a talent show Saturday at 3:00 PM in Bond (e-mail Alice Carli at [acarli (at) esm.rochester.edu] for a five-minute slot), and there's a full list of events at . *People need to post prop in dorms. Talk to Benitez if you're interested and you don't live in ML. *There's a meeting for SWIL Presidential hopefuls Wednesday at 6:00 PM in Upper Sharples. Sophomores and juniors are eligible; if you're at all interested, come so everyone will know who might be running. Interested freshmen should come, too. *SWILoween will be October 27th, tentatively in the WRC. The theme is abstraction. *Submit to BEM! **Non-SWIL Business** * A Trifecta is happening next weekend: the Hunt (10/6), a contra (10/7), and Wink (10/8). The contra is in Elverson, with transportation leaving from ML at 6:30 and returning at about 12:15; talk to Jeff (cbr [at] sccs) if you're interested. * There's a Tuvan throat singing concert on Thursday in Upper Tarble. * Morris dancing, run by Will Quale, needs more people. It meets Thursdays at 5:00 in the ML breakfast room. **************** **************** SWILNews #4 of I Think We're Five Now **************** YAY IT'S THE WEEKEND TIME TO PLAY MICKEY MANIA (can we just send that out? -p) **************** SWILNews #4b of Thinking of a Real Theme Real Soon Now **************** (snakes on a swilnews? -p stay tuned for swilnews #4! -r) **************** Snakes on a SWILNews #4c **************** (aaack! that's not part of swilnews, that's a bug! -r) SNAKES: *slither* SAMUEL L. JACKSON: GET THIS MUTHAFUCKIN ORDER OUT OF MY MUTHAFUCKIN SHARPLES ROOM 4! RABBLE: *scream scream* PTERODACTYL: Rawk! ORACLE: TELL ME YOUR MUTHAFUCKIN MONSTER QUIRKS YOU STUPID ILLITERATE PEOPLE! RABBLE: *scream scream* (too many capital letters! ow! -r) **************** **************** SWILNews #4d Has Vasculitis **************** WHITEBOARD: GREEN / HANGS ON WALL / WHISTLES HOUSE: Differential diagnosis, people. What's the diagnosis for Saturday Night SWIL? WILSON: ::is there for no reason and does nothing:: CAMERON: Collaging? HOUSE: Wrong! That was last week's! FOREMAN: It's moving George, House! HOUSE: Wrong again! You need alumni to do your grunt work, and the NEW SWIL LOUNGE isn't prepared for that kind of invasive surgery. That'll be next week. Chase? CHASE: ::toadies:: (not my fault -p i'm happy now -n) HOUSE: You're all useless. Chase, why don't you go back to your little British parlour and sip your British tea! CHASE: I'm not Br-- HOUSE: Wait--wait a second-- ::magical inspiration music:: *Parlour*! Saturday Night SWIL is Parlour Gaming! Quick! Give it 80 cc's of Telephone Oracle, stat! (i know just enough about house to make fun of it - i'm so proud -n) *************** *************** National Lampoon's SWILNews #4e *************** A MILLION BILLION PEOPLE: HI WE CAME TO REUNION LETS HAVE MEETING KTHX PRESIDENTS: OMGWTF THIS SITUATION IS ENTIRELY UNEXPECTED AND TOTALLY SILLY Later, in the BELLTOWER: HIJINKS: ::ensue:: A MILLION BILLION PEOPLE: LETS HAVE A TALENT SHOW YAYZ BELLTOWER: ::collapses:: (why is this the swilnews of capital letters? -p) *************** *************** Space Adventures of SWILNews #4f *************** SPACE ADVENTURER RAMBO MCPUNCHALOT, his award-winning SPACE DOG BIFF at his side, stands in front of the EVIL GALACTIC PRESIDENTS. SPACE ADVENTURER RAMBO MCPUNCHALOT: ::shakes his fist:: I will end your reign of terror, evil Galactic Presidents! EVIL GALACTIC PRESIDENTS: Okay, fine. We don't want this job anymore. Show up in the upper sector of the planet Sharples on Wednesday at 6:00 PM Galactic Time. RAMBO MCPUNCHALOT: Huh? EVIL GALACTIC PRESIDENTS: ::shoot him with space ray guns:: THE END. (space space space -n this may give the wrong impression to prospective presidents... -p course not! -n yeah, we own swords, not ray guns -p) *************** *************** Doctor Who Meets SWILNews #4g *************** DOCTOR MEREDITH: Where has the TARDIS taken me now? Hmmm, it looks like somebody's house... BABY JENNY YIM, OFFSCREEN: ::cries:: DOCTOR MEREDITH: Hmmmmm. (why is space dog biff award-winning? -p because he totally always wins the obstacle course part at all the space dog shows -n was he shot by rayguns too? -p no, he was sent to a farm, where he'll live the rest of his life happy and free. -n oh, okay. a space dog farm? -p yes. now eat your hot dogs. -n ....biff? O.o -p) *************** *************** Night of the Living SWILNews #4h *************** On the night of October 27th, around 8 o'clock, the ancient will activate again and literally more than a dozen creatures of great evil will descend upon the WRC.... ZOMBIES: BRAAAAAAAINS... HERBERT: You are not abstract enough to come to my party! ::lifts chainsaw:: Let me help! ZOMBIES: ::run away:: Later, at Philcon... ZOMBIES: BRAAAAAAAIINS... CHARLES STROSS: Ach, what is with American fans? ::hefts flamethrower:: ZOMBIES: ::abduct Ninja:: BRAAAAAINS.... NINJA: I'm flattered, but please put me AAAAAAAUUUUUGH! ************** ************** INTERLUDE ************** SPACE DOG BIFF frolics on a space farm tended by little green space men. Suddenly, HERBERT jumps out of the space cornfield with a chainsaw and grabs the little green man wearing a fedora. HERBERT: Biff....we meet again! Though our eternal battle across the cosmos may never cease, you will never stop me from turning the entire universe into a pure, clean abstraction of itself! MWA HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! SPACE DOG BIFF: Woof! ::draws hidden ray gun:: ************* (wait...how? -p we now return you to your regular program! -n) ************* ************* Days of Our SWILNews #4i ************* JEFF: No! How could you leave me for this, this...*trifecta*? PTERODACTYL: Oh, Jeff, you know I'll always love you! But I can't resist the dizzying charms of the Contra and the devilish winks of...Wink? JEFF: You're just leaving me for the purity point, aren't you? PTERODACTYL: ...yeah. ::eats him:: ************** ************** SWILNews #4j of the Opera ************** TUVAN THROAT SINGER: Ooooouuuuaaaaaahhhhhiiiiiiiiiiii!!!! TRANSLATION: Tuvan throat singing, Thursday, Upper Tarble! ************** ************** SWILNews #4k of Space Dog Biff Returns ************** SPACE DOG BIFF: ::morris dances, cutely:: Woof! HERBERT: MWAHAHAHAHA! ::chases:: ************* ************* SWILNews #4l of The End ************* THE END. ************ ************ (my god, it's full of stars! -n) SWILNews #4m of Mars Needs Women (wha? -p i don't know -n) ************ Attendance List of Put Down the Duckie James "Puerto Rico" Mendez Hodes Andrew "Fuck you; I'm a god!" Conforti Brown (yeah, that is what gods tend to do -n) Herbert "We <3 Mendez" Tanzer Elizabeth "I don't remember the '80s" Wesson Katie "I don't remember the 80's either" Love-Cooksey Nia "I don't really understand this" Gipson Margaret "I don't really have a nickname" Cosgriff Abigail "plague victim x3" Graber Michael "The Cold War wasn't fun, the three years I remember of it" Noda Elizabeth "Another one!" Wesson Katie "I'm a dragon!" Love-Cooksey Nia "WOOT dragon! year 1988, you have served me well" Gipson Revan "I like New York in June" Williams Meggie "oh no" Ladlow Venger "ROX UR SOXOF!!" Jamison *** [no more asterisks!!!! -p] *** Malcolm "How about you?" "Blargg not Blaarg" Augat Rebecca "Of the Seven Rings" Goldman (to rule them all? -p) Herbert "What do you mean the crickets escaped?" Tanzer (BAD MEMORIES -p) Jeff "Beware next weekend for there exists trifecta" Kaufman (thanks to noda for translating your non-ASCII-renderable symbol -r) Andrew "Fuck you; I'm a dragon!" Conforti-Brown George "Fuck you; I'm a troll!" Dahl (no shit -r) David "For Mother Russia!!!!!" Pupkin *** Some Idiot Using Exotic Symbols Robot Werewolf (no, ninja werewolf -p) Mike "Ochi Chyornye" Karcher Guy going "YAAAAAAR!" Eric "I don't know how to spell your bloody last name" Mulligan Susan "4 8 15 16 23 42" Zell Finlay "stupor" Logan David "the yields of the Free Table are getting worse and worse" Chudzicki Jackie "FABRICITI DIEM, PVNC" Werner (that's "fabricati" -r dammit -p) Eliza "Crazy legs" Blair (i actually signed it as "Woob woob woob", but close enough -n) [chibi Vetinari] <-- is not amused *** = expunged (i expunged your mom! last night! -p in bed! -n woof!- space dog biff) This SWILNews has been brought to you by the remote control, no attention span, and Space Dog Biff. And the Presidents. And the letter M.