**********************
SWILBUSINESS

-SWILmovie = Soul Music. Andrew does not approve. Monday at 10, video pit.
-SNS is Philcon. Be there! Magical Mystery Tour is happening at some point.
-PhilCon is next weekend, Fri-Sun. The student (under 25) weekend rate =
the one day rate = $25. We think. (therefore we am -r) There will be an
expedition of many people, led by Eliza, contact her if you're interested.
-Sumbit to BEM!
-Think about t-shirts before winter break.
-The presidents are in charge of inauguration unless someone else wants it.
-Andrew vows to assassinate the new presidents. And he gets a new title.
We think he's Billy Elliot?
-Margaret won the lottery and got Flash Gordon. We opened the other prize
and there were plastic ninjas everywhere, flying through the air as silent
as the night.
-Amber is sentient.

NONSWILBUSINESS

-Wind Ensemble concert next Friday. People will be sad if you don't come.
-Arthur wants to make a music video. There will be capguns involved. Email
him if you're interested.
-Night of Scenes will begin after break. Rebecca has a play in it,
featuring Lisa and Eric M.
-Folk dance is having a ceilidh (pronounced cay-lee, a Scottish social
dance party) on Friday evening.

NOMINATIONS

-See end of SWILNews for full list of nominees as well as links to
platforms. Really. They're there.
**********************

SWILnews #9...Getting off to a very slow start

(hey baby. are you in favor of gay marriage? because i'm in favor of gay
marriage...with *you* -arthur that's so ...almost romantic. but not. is
romance dead in the democratic party? -r)

Jackie is reading the notes while the rest of us make silly comments.
Read, Jackie, Read! Jackie reads.

(oh, i see. this is like how i have to read the quiz to you instead of you
reading it yourself. -p i wanna read, i wanna read! -n no, i'm reading the
notes! -p i get it back! haha! -n damn you! ok, i'm going to read over
your shoulder. -p jackiesucksjackiesucksjackiesucks! -r i hate you! -p)

Their morale boosted by an orchestral accompaniment, the presidents
shifted their lazy shiftless selves. (waugh! not shirtless! can't type! -r
raoul challenge.... -r no! -r)

In the past Jackie wondered why she was taking notes. However, she was
moved by a sense of overwhelming duty to keep writing. Also, we promised
to return her knitting (and feed her addiction) if she did. (don't take my
knitting! -p little known fact: jackies speech is correctly punctuated -r
damn straight -p)

We decided not to give up on life before next Monday, so there will still
be a SWILmovie. (speak for yourself -p don't be sad jackie -n) If you come
to  the SCCS video pit on Monday at 10pm you can watch Soul Music which is
probably about the Pratchett book (DEEEEAAAATH -p) and hopefully good.

(this american swil. yeah, that would be a good swilnews -eric a. TOUGH
BEANS -r *imitates medieval instruments incessantly* -p PAAAASTIME with
good COOOOMPANY I LOOOOVE and shall until I DIIIIIE!.... -pr don't do it
here! )

Continued non-organization means no Magical Mystery Tour this week.
Philcon means no MMT next week. Maybe a MMT one day. In the meantime,
PhilCon definitely exists, because there will be a billion geeks convening
on the city whether we remember to go or not (so there). (yaaaay! philcon
is better than christmas! -n did you talk about people's pants coming off?
-p) Eliza is putting together a trip of people to go...okay, she isn't
really, but if you contact her she'll wait for you at the train station or
something. She wants to be ambushed by people! If you have $25 and are
under $25 where $ here = years of age, you can get in for the whole
weekend.

(stop talking! write swilnews! THERE WILL BE NO FUN! -p)

EVERYONE TOOK OFF THEIR PANTS (why don't i ever remember these things? -n)

We have budget! For BEM! Nothing else! Seriously. We might print BEM in
color if we get beautiful art. Consider this! Also, run BEM because you
get good/lots of spam. And SUBMIT.

Finlay is the tshirt wench. She wants to do tshirts early so that we can
wear them for more than two weeks at the end of the year. So think about
shirts over Thanksgiving, because she wants to be voting on these right
after winter break. You can come up with either a design or a slogan, or
whatever. You can print your turkey as a design. We dont care, we dont
have standards.

Stuff happens: jamison gets
ablackspotonhisappleandrunsscreamingfromtheroom (WE DO NOT APPROVE OF THE
LACK OF APOSTROPHES AND SPACES.  THE PEOPLE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS HAVE BEEN
SACKED. -np)

Jamision gets a black spot on his apple and will soon die. Susan wants a
lottery ticket. Arthur is not a bitch like Susan's knitting. Susan wants
to beat up women and Arthur is passive-aggressively nice.

The presidents thought they were in charge of Inauguration so now they are.

Andrew wants to assassinate the new presidents and not grope the old ones.
(we were sad. i am a mitten. -r can we put it in the notes that finlay has
completely lost it? -p yes -n here, finlay, we're going to teach you how
to be a good robot. -p DON'T EAT MEEEEE -r no, here, hold these. now say
'EX-TER-MI-NATE' -p DELICIOUS -r no, EX-TER-MI-NATE -p) Andrew is Elliot
Reed or Billy Elliot or the Embodiment of Elliot or maybe T.S. Eliot. He
wrote a poem to prove this:

I love cats.
They are silly
and cool and
ought to have musicals
written about them

NON-SWILBUSINESS

Wind Ensemble concert next Friday (i want the thing. -r the what? -n the
thing. er, hot coffee. -r we need a ps2 for that. -n) and you all should
come (*giggle* -n) or Andrew will be sad. There will probably be no arson.

Benitez had a wine & cheese party last night by invitation only. (it was
filled with awesome and wine and cheese and balloon animals and drunken
Once Upon A Time and yay! -n)

Arthur wants to make a music video. It is a Tastykakes commercial and may
be horrifying. You do not actually have to do horrifying things to Kake.
Email him if you are interested. (have you ever been to the tastykakes
factory? you can smell it for miles. just this wave of tasty odor. -arthur
eeeeww -p i'm talking about tastykakes, not ml basement -arthur)

Booksale in the Ville! It is over now, suckers. Jackie says the selection
wasn't very good so you probably didn't miss much.

OH CRAP AMBER HAS A SENTIENCE PROOF REWIND TO SWILBUSINESS

a;flkwmena
weoivjnupoweirutweoirtjwpeoywuerpogaidfuujposdimrftjneroawoipertsunrrgvooop!

Name: Amber Elise Viescas
Sentience: YesPROVE IT

She used to have a long & complicated sentience proof, but decided to
blackmail. Right to vote is a God-given right & integral part of that
person. If you don't believe, it doesn't count - needs to be internalized.
Andrew hands her right to vote on napkin: eat it! She does. Ew.
Internalized. Jackie says anyone who draws a giant vagina is
disenfranchised. Therefore if she draws one we must cut off her left cheek
w/ right to vote. She drew...possibly the eye of Sauron, or a fruit. We
decided she was an energy being reproduced through rips in the space-time
continuum. We cut off both cheeks (turn the other cheek! -n) Everyone else
is traumatized forever. (i'm still terrified of amber's vagina -arthur now
i'm afraid of the female body, but that's okay, because i'm never going to
see it. thankfully, i still lust after arthur -pupkin maybe i should go
around teaching little girls about their bodies - are you there, arthur?
it's me, margaret -arthur)

...FAST FORWARD!

aljse;oakwejposugpwnoidsauofpasdioufnasrtaunwep[rvaieurptmv[aspoijtvasrmrdoptiusdoiaoisup

NON-SWILBUSINESS

Night of Scenes weekend after break. Rebecca's play! Yay! Mulligan & Lisa
in it. Portugal is not a prequel to Applesauce, but it could be. Ceilidh
on Friday. Wind ensemble concert also on Friday. Woo!

Then we did nominations and a good time was had by all. There were like
two hours of platforms (HOLY CRAP THAT WAS AWESOME -n)

NOMINATIONS:
(To see platforms, go to the website: http://www.swil.org/SWILnews/Fall06/)

FROM LAST WEEK:
-Herbert's Hat Collection
-1001 obscure in-jokes
-Blackjack and Hookers (Malcolm and Meggie)
-The Platonic Ideal of Andrew Brown
-The Abstract Idea of Andrew Brown
-All Candidates + Arthur Chu
-Something concrete
-The Alex/Eliza Text
-The Three Most Attractive People at SWILloween
-Jamison and His Thousand Clones
-Platonic Affection
-Arthur's SWIL Video
-Cantatrix
-Icosahedral Affection
-Truncated Platonic Affection
-Homoeroticism
-Giant Chalk Penises and Giant Chalk Vaginas
-Giant Chalk Objections to Giant Chalk Penises and Giant Chalk Vaginas
-50 Giant Chalk Pictures of Hitler
-Revan, Miles, and Jamison
-Senator Palpatine and Andrew
-Alex
-Alex, BDan, Will Quale, and Nobody
-Arthur, Except He's Not Really Arthur, He's Got These Robot Arms, and
-He's Got Eyes That Shoot Lasers, and A Tail Like A Scorpion
-George W. Bush
-George Dahl, George Dahl, and George Dahl
-HK-47, the Iron Giant, and the Daleks
-Any and all talking skulls
-Professor Maginty
-Our bodies, ourselves, our cybernetic arms
-The Dirk/Dusan subtext
-Banjo the Clown
-The Harbingers of the Robocalypse
-Arthur, Greg, and Jonathan
-Jillian, Mai, and Andrew
-Jillian, Blake, and Arthur
-The Platonic Ideal of the Quad
-Bryan Kany
-The freshmen/freshman
-Greg and Arthur's long-distance relationship
-Bowie as Tesla
-Megan Nelson and the Nazi Party
-The end of the nomination process
-Pyrex of the Caribbean

FROM THIS WEEK:
-Susan, Eliza, & Jackie
-Link, Zelda, & Ganondorf
-Santorum, Foley, & Rumsfeld as Rum, Sodomy, & the Lash
-North Korea, Iran, Iraq
-Germany, Japan, Italy
-None of the Above
-Black Mage
-The Sharn Six
-The Last Redoubt
-ReDeads, Gibdos, & the Dead Hand
-Lord of Blades, Devourer of Dreams, Red Prophet, Moaning Lady of the
Mournland,
Slayer of the Shadows
-Taint, Taint, and Taint
-Taint, Robocop, & Breasterlings
-Your Mother, Yo Momma, Yer Mom
-The Freuds
-Jesus, Buddha, Abraham
-House, Wilson, & Cuddy


PHEW! That was exhausting. We're done now, and so are you, so feel free to
get on with whatever it was you were doing with your Sunday afternoon.
We're pretty sure we've let you all down with this week's lack of a
coherent theme. Bleah.

Last note from arthur: "I'd hit that." If you can't find a platform for
your favorite candidate, just keep those words of wisdom in mind.

Love,
The (Im)Mortal Enemies
(we'd hit that)


Attendance List of First Person to Draw a Giant Vagina Gets Disenfranchised

Aber "Who's on First" Wiescas
Andrew "Economics is a Party--and Everyone's Invited!" Conforti Brown
[scribble scribble scribble scribble]
Nicholas LaRacuonte
Margaret "dismay" Cosgriff
[random space] (what's with the random spaces lately? -p)
Venger "George" Jamison
Georges Le Dahl
Meggie "Blackjack" Ladlow
Revan "and" Williams
Malcolm "Hookers" Augat (you guuuuuuuys! -nr)
Bob "Breasterlings" Muskrat III (ew! what the hell is a breasterling? -r
we're not sure, but eliza seems to like them -arthur shut up! -n)
George "Welcome to the Dahlhouse" Dahl
Miles Dahl Skorpen
Son of George
Silence of the Georges
George in a SWIL Meeting [someone dies for this -p]
Casadahl
500 Good George Dahls, 500 Evil George Dahls, and the 1 original who is
capable of
moral choice
Rebecca "Jagsemash!" Goldman
Lord of the Dahls
The Return of the Dahl
The Georges Strike Back
Venger "Dahl" Jamison
[tic-tac-toe (a tie) and pretty patterns in the margins]
Arthur "Not George Dahl" Chu
Mike "The Second Coming of the Stoat" Karcher
George "I'm scared" Auquati
Elizabeth "accidentally sat near the scary end" Wesson
Katie "Who is George Dahl anyway?" Love-Cooksey
Susan "I don't sleep ANyMORE!  I don't eat ANYMORE I don't live anymore! 
I don't
feel... (dadadadada)" Zell (don't worry, out senior year will be over
soon! then we
can live in boxes, and sleep! -p)
Joe Grimm
x500 x500
  o   o
 /|\ /|\
 / \ / \ <-- clones
Emmanuelle "[evil face] [little guy going "blah blah blah blah] Blah" Wambach
George "Dahl" Dahl
& Again George Dahl
[STOP LEAVING SPACES]
King George the Dahl
George L. Dahl (the real one! -p)
[SPACE, DAMMIT]
George "I am Swil president" Dahl
George "Revanopolis" Dahl
George "I'm really here this many times" Dahl
Venger "[stick figure with large sword]" Jamison
Eliza "Og God not the mini-nukes" Blair
Jackie "CURSE YOU, Link" Werner
[many spaces]
George Dahl, Lord of Moria
Finlay "retcon!" Logan