Swilnews 8-9, Vol. II			"The Swilnews that Time Forgot!!"

Our story this week is one of archeological derring-do and linguistic
extrapolation!  We, the Four of Us, bring you an untold story in the history of
Swil, and as dramatic proof of the story, we will print, within this very
Swilnews, "THE SWILNEWS THAT TIME FORGOT!!"
To begin -- most people believe that Swil was founded in 1979 at Swarthmore
College by Jim Huang, the Fearless and Charismatic leader.  What has been
hidden from all (until today) is the untold story of how he got the idea to
begin Swil.  The Four of Us now have evidence, to be published as "THE SWILNEWS
THAT TIME FORGOT" (henceforth referred to as STTF, pronounced STIF) that Jim
Huang was actually refounding an ancient intellectual organization based on his
discovery and translation of their written records (Swilnewses) recorded in 
heiroglyphics on the walls of Secret Caves in the Crum Woods!! Most of the
credit for this remarkable discovery goes to -- The Blue Route!

Jim Huang's discovery of the caves (which he refuses to confirm -- or deny!)
might have remained a secret forever if not for the Blue Route.  When
construction workers were denuding the Crum for the greater glory of rapid
transit they discovered the cave, which had been concealed amongst the roots of
an ancient oak.  When they descended into the cave, they discovered that its
walls were covered with strange pictorial writing.  Awed, they revealed their
discovery to a local archeologist, who immediately confirmed  the historical
import of the find and had the area cordoned off with orange plastic fencing
and large signs saying "Secret Archeological Discovery!  Keep Out!"  These
signs were spotted by wandering adventurer Geoff Hopcraft from the pinnacle of
the PAC steel skeleton.  He exclaimed, "Wow!  Neat!" and passed the news of his
discovery to The Four of Us, and linguist experts Jed Hartman and Michael
Bernstein.  We resolved to investigate on the premise that "The public has a
right to know, and, By Gum! we're the public!" (the romance of adventure was
also a factor in our decision.)  Avoiding Swarthmore Security, and the Blue
Route guards, attack dogs, and land mines, we reached the cave, lit our
torches, and went down the stairs.  We spotted and identified the heiroglyphs, 
replete with pterodactylian imagery, and the crack Hartman-Bernstein team set
to work deciphering them.  Working by flickering torch-light (and a flash-light
provided by the practical Sally Carter, although she dismissed our activity as
"frivolous") they cracked the code and made a remarkable discovery -- the
heiroglyphs were the records of prehistoric science fiction-fantasy
organization whose name, when transcribed into modern letters and
pronunication, sounds remarkably like -- Swil!  (Pronounced as it sounded at
the time, the name resembles a sound that a modern mouth can only create by
munching a crip, fresh carrot!)  We copied the heiroglyphs, resolving to
transcribe them later, and snuck back to Swarthmore.

The transcription of an excerpt of these records follows.  It is "THE SWILNEWS
THAT TIME FORGOT!!!"  

kkrkyckoquxwvembkcz kpkniprtqxzotstop.  (Swil -- meeting disordered). 
fasplkasndlonawpo vk kaasvopjasspulrikvsokmsljm vmdsl sldf sldf slfj (Proof of
sentience shall be required of all voting non-members.  This is not just a
formality!) asdfj;oeawjldj sdlkdf fjdk slksdlke fja;'axxcnmwi (Attendace; Eric
Minister of Literacy, Emma the futuristic, and Zog, professional neanderthal).  

Amazing isn't it?  This could be the most important archeological discovery
since The Anglo-French Stirrup Find of 1975!  And what a change to Swil's
history. Remember you heard it first here!!
____________________
In other news -- Philcon is this week-end.  Jeff Hildebrand and David Randall
are going in the van.  Get in touch with them if you'd like to go (It's $20 at
the door plus a share of trans. cost).  Deb Barolsky was dismembered last week. 
A lot of people were there (maybe a Best of Attendance list swilnews will
feature some of them).  No other big Swillish news.  Lots of things are
happening this week-end, check 'em out.  Thanks to everyone who appeared
without their consent in "STTF" (everyone who appeared).  We hope you don't
feel too misrepresented.  Enjoy Thanksgiving, and until we see you next time,
we leave you with a few words of advice -- "Don't believe everything you read!"

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