ATTACK OF THE KILLER SWILNEWSES!!!!!!
(DECEMBER 13TH (GASP!) 1991)

     In a sudden revelation which has rocked the entire SWIL organization to
its foundations, Official Understudy Josh Smith announced that the infamous
Secret Master of SWILdom was in fact not the power being the throne, the
power on the throne, or in any way related to any sort of power. Said he,
"I'm not sure who it really is who is pulling the strings, but I grew
suspicious of his repeated absences as the semester went on. So I found the
truth, contained in a memo dated November 31st." The SMOS, who could not be
reached for comment, retorted, "Lies, lies, I have been beset with nothing
but lies."

     Not believing him, the non-members of SWIL have speculated at great
length as to who really has been controlling them.  Speculations about Elvis
were immediately dismissed as too likely, and deeper plots were sought.
Several people voiced suspicions about Thomas Hart Benton, the famous
American Regionalist painter, but it was pointed out that the influence had
continued after he had been exorcised. Thoughts about the fnord Bavarian
fnord Illuminati being fnord involved were put fnord aside as being fnord
too fnording dangerous. Currently many people believe that the SMOS has been
subverted by the dreaded anti-SMOS.

     In light of this a vote of no confidence has toppled the SMOS regime,
forcing elections for a new government. The runner-up in the election which
brought the SMOS to the throne in the first place, Lord Julius' goat, said
"See what you got when you didn't vote for me?" And promptly entered the new
campaign. Charges were flying among the other candidates that lumber to build
platforms to run on was being withheld, that illegal campaign contributions
were received from the 95 in 95 Worldcon committee, and other worse
offenses. All non-members are strongly encouraged to show up on Saturday and
cast their vote to resolve this mess.

     Review: _The Princess Bride_ by S. Morgenstern. If you like satiric
histories of Florin, then this book is an absolute must read. However even
if your tastes do not run in the direction of political satire there is
plenty to like in this book. If you wade through the commentary you will
find action, adventure, swordfighting, deeds of daring and romance. A book
for everybody.

     Attendance: Well no one can get dismembered this week, but there are
several who will be eligible the first meeting of next semester, if they
keep showing up. Present at the 12/7/91 meeting were: Melissa "Out to the
side quarter turn up or down quarter turn into the middle halfway round fall
back fall back" Shaner, David "You're going to play the Queen of Spades"
Randall, Jen "needing my brain for other things so I can't think of a neato
nickname" Setlow, Gloria "meditating on the existence of extrovert pirogies"
Wong, Andrea "I'm going to stop the names on this list running together"
HallBeth "No you're not" BruchMarc "jealous of Thomas Hart Benton" Chagall,
Neil "A world full of people, their hearts full of joy, cities of life with
no fear of war and thousands of creatures with happier lives and dreams of
their futures were fading in the winter skies" Banas, Laura "Du luktar som
en get" Almasy, Nao "Bolivian Milkmaid's Jacket" Parkhurst, Geoff "Who feels
like he just sleepwalked to the meeting" Noer, Kendra "New hat! New hat!"
Eshleman, Topher "Who is that woman with a rainbow on her head?" LeRoy,
Peter "Gimme the truth-conditions for this:  (obscene gesture)!" Wagner,
Sylvia "Is it good to be back? Hmm..."  Chong, Dan "What do all these quotes
actually mean" Wells, Robert "Who is living in the Sharples ice cream
freezers?" Richardson, Charles "Unemployment is the natural state of man"
Deily, Deb "more snow?" Sam, Maeghan "There was a blizzard in Maine!"
Maloney, Peter "There was three feet o'snow in Minnesota a month back" Wong,
Deb "Hey, next week my thesis will be done!" Holtzman, Josh "Wahoo" Burdick,
Charles "010011010010100011101011001" danforth, Some guy in a trenchcoat,
Daoud "monkey" a1-Ou11er, Kathy Davis "", jere7my "My cereal's beginning to
look a lot like Crispix" tho?rpe, 48 "+Error: Too few arguments" SX, Justin
"Yoko Geni" Giacolitti, Josh "8 of clubs? KABOOM!" Smith, Chris
"re-dismembered" Cobb

	This Saturday will be the last meeting as students for Susan Ruff
and Deb Holtzman, and it's my last meeting as SWIL president. Thanks all.
Scandal Master of SWILdom.