Date: Tue, 8 Nov 1994 11:42:46 -0500
To: _swat.org.swil @ cc.swarthmore.edu
From: ltsina1 @ cc.swarthmore.edu (Lesley Tsina)
X-Sender: ltsina1 @ cc.swarthmore.edu (Unverified)
Subject: Fragile Material, don't crush, don't drop SWILnews #8 please.

We are going to make this SWILnews as long as possible, just to avoid the
horribly long attendance list coming at the end this week. Actually, rather
than prolong the inevitable, why don't we simply intersperse the entire
thing with *E. Rosolowsky (the amazingly speedy backstabber)* various
names. That way, by the time we get to the end, we will *Ben "Garrr OKC"
Williams* be able to simply sign off and go to *Charles "Musclemans for the
masses" Danforth* lunch.
        Well, let's get right down to *Josh "Teal valleys and ochre skies"
Burdick* SWILbusiness:

There was an extensive recap of the *Larry "Day #2: Still no sign of the
enemy" Miller* Pterodactly Hunt.  The Hunt appears to have been a great
success, no injuries reported and few weapon problems occured except for
some wimpiness in the sword department this year.  Kudos and any other
granola snack to Kendra and Fred and check out Fred's little postmortem of
the hunt on _swat.org.swil, if you haven't seen it already.   It turns out
that the *Snibor "Laart fo Tseab Rettalbgub Suovenar (Gnimaor)" Eoj*
Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal had, you guessed it, a few bugs.  If we
use this monster next year it has been suggested that we place it somewhere
less secluded instead of forcing it to roam the back of Parrish searching
for prey and shouting its name at the top of its lungs to confused players
[A change of policy, since usually any confused player is a good player.
-TG].  The Game Warden seemed to work quite *Joel "Amazingly off-key ex-orc
who joined the Siren's Bandish entourage" McNary* spiffily and the hunting
licences looked amazingly silly when taped to the hunter's chests.  Few
scrolls were used, and the general feeling seems to be that while they were
pretty cool, next time they should be printed in color so that the monsters
will be able to see them from afar. Also, the Oracle is a rather difficult
place to get to for purposes of identification, at least while the strength
of the Black Knight(s) hold out. However, everybody thought scrolls were
*Sarah "Siren's entourage's entourage's entourage" Piatt**Philq "Siren's
entourage's entourage" Flamingo**Melissa "Siren's entourage" Binde* an
interesting idea that had potential for the future. There was some debate
concerning the size and demeanor of *James "I want blood" Gill* trolls, as
well as the potence of their candy. Perhaps next year the Oracle will hae
more of a sweet tooth. Finally, no more eggs in the *jere7my "In a cocoon.
About yay high." tho?rpe* underbrush.
 Finally, moments worth preserving included several orcs' strategy of
disguising themselves as leaf piles, the beligerent Pterodactyl who finally
began to randomly pick fights with players and the guy who spent half of
the game with a bendable straw between his teeth, thinking that it might
have some magical use. [We aren't kidding about this. -TG]
   
        PHILCON approacheth and with it *Elizabeth "I still don't
understand what the flamingo was about" Weber* my chance to kill the
creator of Magic the Gathering [For those keeping score at home I now own
every card, and am rather embarrased about it. -TG]. Issues involved with
the CON include transportation, hot tubs, a single bed, *Fred "Zen and the
art of pterodactylry" Bush*, and as much fun asone can get from a hotel
full of magic players and trekkies in full dress uniform. People driving
include Kendra, Beth, and Larry (in Andrea's car), although it is
questionable whether any of these people will be there for only one night,
hence able to transport on Saturday.  People making rude and lacivious
noises to scare off the occupancy check will probably not be necessary, but
a subcommittee *Fred's "SHALL-WE-STAKE-A-CLAIM?" pocket
supercomputer**Annie "You have to TELL me it's garlic....." Fox* *Andrea
"Swords!" Hall* may be forming out of those still interested in doing so. 

        That about did it for *Dan "I am Empowered to Enforce the
Endangered Species Act- but the Pterodactyls still died" Wells*
SWILbusiness, as most of the meeting was taken up by recounts of the hunt
and *David "Rover had an unfortunate habit of chasing oncoming cars"
Randall* other generally unproductive stuff.

        Oh, the space people still haven't talked to us about *Elizabeth
"The finger I lick will soon turn red" Christian* movies, but we might see
them sometime soon.

Non-SWILbusiness:

        *Ross "Orks are wimps" Dickson*
        Tick continues to be a happening show, as people tuned in to watch
a heated discussion of the mucilage that holds this nation together, *Carl
"Shadow Dancer" Sander* family values.

        Havercon was discussed, and with it the notion of *Jeremy "Don't
ask what the 12-foot pole is for" Dilatush* a SWILcon. While a trip to
Havercon was thought to be a likely possibility due to its being both free
and somebody else's responsibility, a SWILcon was met with a mixed
reaction. However, Fred *Aaron "                         " Hertzmann* Bush,
who apparently doesn't have enough to do, thought he might be up to
organizing such an event. More power to him! [Muahahahahaha! -L] Those
actually attending Havercon will probably not be at next Saturday's
meeting, but we will expect a full report in the coming weeks.

        Also, there is a big Magic the Gathering Tournament at Columbia
this weekend, and although it is in the middle of that human cesspool known
of as New York City, it is also near jere7my's Aunt Martha who apparently
is a stellar human being full of the mucilage that holds this nation
together.

        Since we still have attendance to get rid of, *Alice "You stupid
Human. Stupid! Stupid!" Unger* we will now blather on about the formal
which occured this past weekend. There was a surprisingly impressive
showing by *Julianna "Your juvenile minds cannot comprehend the
solaromite!"Patrick* SWIL, as everybody got down and boogied as it were. 
Michael *Megan "I have contacted the earth's governments and they have
refused our existence" Hallam* Brus was on hand to aid in the revelry as
the crew bopped along to classics such as "Blister in the Sun", "Black or
White", *Beth "Eternal Life?" Bruch* and everything by Prince.  The
anti-formal and *Kendra "So you have this garbage bag and this newspaper
sword..."Eshleman* brunch of shame were also a kick in the pants.

        And so finally, we have ...

ATTENDANCE: 11-5-94

Noah Salzman

                                -Literature & The Grotesque  (tee hee)