From jmrobins @ condor.sccs.swarthmore.edu Wed May 5 11:04:17 1999 Date: Sun, 17 Nov 1996 19:49:09 -0500 (EST) From: Snibor Eoj To: Chaos Golubitsky Subject: be a frosh (fish -s)! learn to take over large organizations without the use of much force or swilnews #8 due to unfortunate circumstances beyond the control of anyone except tired upper-classmen who didn't particularly care to control them, swil has been temporarily taken over by a herd (calling us a herd makes it sound like we are some kind of wild animals! oh...right. -u) of deranged freshmen, who will be bringing you this week's swilnews. we apologize for any inconvenience. (no we don't. -s) yours truly, the anti-triumvirate how did this sad and sorry state of affairs come to pass in a glorious organization like swil, you ask? what terrible circumstances could cause our long-standing dynasty to be conquered by miserable lowly creatures who should be sitting in their one-room doubles, wearing their pass-fail labels like a curse? the story we are about to tell will fill future generations with horror and fear. the names have been changed to protect the innocent. (wait, there are no innocent. -k) it was 12:00 in the afternoon. (12:05 actually. has anyone ever heard of people arriving at a swil meeting on time? -u) the sun was shining. except of course, in sharples room 4, where a group of swilfolk was slowly gathering. little did they know, that, within the next ten minutes, something unheard of in the history of swil (or at least this year. we're frosh, remember. -s) was about to take place. at 12:15, the meeting still waited to be called to disorder. why? we were looking around the room, questioning the long silence of our three co-presidents, when suddenly, everything became horrifyingly clear. not a single member of the triumvirate was to be found. liberte, egalite, and fraternite had deserted us - in pursuit of what, we knew not. (well, actually... -k) then, as we stood (sat, really -s) in confusion, one among us rose (see, i told you we were sitting -s) to come to our aid and/or take advantage of our unfortunate position. sam weiler declared himself president, in what was possibly the shortest coup in swil history. (as opposed to the longest coup in swil history? -u) then the swillies rejoiced greatly. (or at least made a lot of noise - sam called them to disorder at the same time, so it was hard to figure out. -s) and what, you ask, was this daring usurper's first official action? tragically, nothing all that interesting: he called for swil-business. the first order of swil-business was elections. since no one in the room, with the possible exception of sam, either was a co-president or had any interest in becoming one, the discussion didn't take long. it was suggested that having platforms the week after thanksgiving and elections one week later was potentially a very bad idea. (besides, who needs elections so close to a coup. -k) it was further suggested that, as philcon is next weekend, we don't have much of an alternative. next, swilcon was discussed. it was officially determined (and duly noted by the temporary secretary, who wasn't really paying attention at the time. -s) that andrea would attend swilcon. we returned to the subject of swilcon after a lengthy commercial break during which we discussed... other stuff. the next subject of debate, soul searching, and general mayhem was philcon (which andrea will also attend. -k) there will be a hotel room. jere7my commented on having received the paperwork. unfortunately for all those who had been planning to stay, the room is reserved for only two guests. (hey, maybe if we shove will under the bed, no one will notice him. -s) carpooling was mentioned. it was suggested that chaos talk to student council and attempt to borrow a van for the occasion. (oh, no, the poor trees! -k) there was much rejoicing until greg noted that student council might have some interest in seeing their van over the course of the weekend. then it was noted that andrea, kendra, and liberte would be driving, and would have plenty of room for people in their cars, so the discussion up to that point had been futile. as a matter of fact, just forget we mentioned the whole thing. the cars will leave from the rose garden at 7:00 on friday. sam (el presidente) pointed out that a swil fifteen year reunion had happened at some point in the course of human history, and that a 17 (or maybe 18) year reunion might happen at swilcon. (see, we told you we'd bring up swilcon again. -s) at that precise moment (we think), a photographer from perspectives came in to take pictures of us, which was cause for general thokking and sticking-out-of-the-tongue by joel. the philadelphia science fiction convention will happen 13-15 december. science fiction-type people will be there (if you want to know which people, get someone who recognizes names to take notes next time. -s), as well as the captain's chair from the enterprise d. according to will, it will (sorry. -s) be possible to get your picture taken sitting in the chair. greg was pessimistic about the possible price of aforesaid activity. kendra has swapa. people who want swapa should give money to jim. the swil movie this week will be "the secret of nimh." people who think the movie was better than the book should go. people who think the book was better than the movie should go anyway, just to make sure. (people who think the movie was good but would have been much better if the main characters were elephantidae rather than rattus should sleep - they definitely need it. -u) at this point, we will pause briefly to mention the non-swil business which was inadvertantly mentioned during the swil-business section, before moving on to non-swil business mentioned at the appropriate time. a card was passed around for jere7my, thanking him for his efforts in the field of procuring and showing babylon 5 tapes. dave was questioned about his progress on finding a showing of st:fc. he claimed that none of the theatres in the area have telephones. during the next week, he will look into getting more information, by installing phones at said theatres if necessary. more non-swil business: the delaware ball needs men. (don't we all? -s) on another note, "hour of the wolf" will be (also known as "was" -s) shown at jere7my's apartment (greylock 301) at 1:30, after the meeting, followed by "whatever happened to mister garibaldi?" at will and andrea's apartment (greylock 101). the question of when b5 would be watched during philcon and thanksgiving break was tossed about for awhile, then shoved unresolved under the table, so that those who come after us may wonder at it and then return in disgust to the salad bar. the wedding ball will be tonight. also the fall formal. (formal? what formal? -s) people who don't dance or formalize (well, what would you do at a formal? -s) may want to game. this will be discussed at some other point, most likely. at this point, it was noted that sam was no longer in the room, so andrea declared another coup. (you can't throw a rock these days without hitting another swil coup. -s) larry mentioned that there has been some muttering about an anime-athon. read _swat.org.swil for details. a mail order store which carries b5 merchandise, including inexpensive shirts, has been discovered. if you had read _swat.org.swil like we told you to, you would know that already. a lengthy discussion began over whether sunday was the 7th day of the week or the 1st. the writers of this swilnews wish to note that the opinions which were expressed in this debate were the opinions solely of the people representing them, and do not in any way shape or form relate to the opinions of the writers, who quite honestly couldn't care less. (i care! i would like to start a motion that sunday become the 1st and 7th day of the week, giving us a three day weekend. all interested in voting on which weekday would be dropped from the calendar should pick up a ballot in the lobby of lpac. -u) at this point, we will pause yet again to mention the swil-business which was inadvertantly mentioned during the non-swil business section, namely swilcon. swarthmore faculty and staff who attend swilcon will not have to pay. (neither will andrea. -k) joel is working on the registration program. the art show is getting bigger and bigger, possibly to the extent that it may begin thinking about world domination one of these days. (hey, i think about world domination every day, and the art show is bigger than me. -s) will and andrea are not entirely sure what to do about this, although it was pointed out that art shows occasionally happen in pac, which led us to the following conclusions: a)swilcon's art show could happen in pac. b)there are people at swat who know how to run art shows and could be contacted. c)the price of broccoli will fall. will said that we could probably get scheuer room, and a discussion of lecture hall sizes ensued. dupont holds 190 people. we just thought you should know. dave mentioned that we should talk to physical plant about heating the rooms for swilcon, so that they can't ignore us the way they do when we try to show movies. there will be a stapling party at will and andrea's (the address hasn't changed) on thursday from 6-7:30. this was timed not to conflict with either folk dance or puckers. this party is byos (do we really need to tell you what that stands for? hint: it's a stapling party.) and there will be pizza. at this point, people randomly began to drift from the room (that's what happens when you don't have a co-president.), so the meeting conspicuously failed to be called to order, but everyone left anyway. this, of course, means that there is still a swil meeting going on in a lonely abandoned sharples room. your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find that meeting and destroy it. bwa ha ha. attendance: dave "painters suck" phillips sam "finally a swil president!" weiler john finkbiner - chemist of the wild frontier jay "why am i painting the water tower?" saturday-berryman-scott greg "secretary of war" ingber timothy "blue parrots of fancy" handley sarah "i hate attendance lists!" piatt joel "co-president pro tempore" mcnary andrea "meow!" hall will "it's swilcon, it's swilcon, it's better than bad, it's good!" quale will "welcome to my nightmare" untereker kendra "welcome to my night, mere" eshleman jere7my "cowboy lips are all right" thorpe sam "the kgb runs their meetings much more efficiently" weiler (wait, two sams? my god, they're multiplying! -s) amy """" swift megan "go humiliation!" powell larry "a one-man anime thon" miller -sklaverei, ungleichheit, konkurrenz