Date: Tue, 19 Oct 1999 09:43:05 -0400 (EDT) From: Chaos Golubitsky To: _swat.org.swil @ swarthmore.edu Subject: On the Road with SWILNews #5 The dark van hurtled through the gathering gloom. Inside lurked your two fearless co-presidents and their four loyal...(henchwomen -w) (henchlings. no, henchtrons! -n) (kinda scary people -c). Cloak was driving. Dagger was typing. (ooh, power! -d) (yes, but I told you to say that. -n) Umbrella was making unhelpful comments. Noose was holding the flashlight in such a way that it looked like oncoming headlights (inside the car! -n). Watchcap was noting that an exit ramp had been hit. (luckily, not by us. -d) No one was talking about the Pterodactyl Hunt. (until they were -d) We had a Pterodactyl Hunt. It went really well. The Pringles were blocking Dagger's typing arm. (may i have a pringle please? -w) OED searched for the Pringles. Lindsaybird and Ben's guards had songs. They sang them at the same time at the meeting. Much cacaphony ensued. There were 55 hunters. We have had requests for another hunt during senior week and in the spring during the debate tournament. Lindsay thought there were good ambush opportunities (watchcap always loses the lids! -d) on north campus. Noose suggested that Dagger take her shirt off. We need to remind hunters to control their sword power. (my bruises are still healing. -w) Prime and Abby are sniping about each other's marshmallow sculptures, and Sonia made a really good cat. Best comment overheard during the Pterodactyl Hunt: Hunter 1 to Hunter 2, in explanation of who SWIL is: Hey, these are the guys who threw that all-campus party last weekend. The movie on Monday was Dr. Strangelove. (no, joe, we are not putting the full name here, so deal. -d) Next week's movie is Dark Crystal. Speaking of which... Philcon is still happening. Talk to Kira. (hey, do you want a dollar? -u, holding out a blue poker chip) SWIL should bring a speaker in the spring. E-mail Amy (aswift @ sccs) suggestions for speakers. Then we'll find out info about them. (like what color underwear they wear! -u) Andrea cautions: size matters not. (of the speakers -u) (not physical, people. -d) Due to the Flying Karamazov Brothers and Bryn Mawr's showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show, both of which are happening Friday, 29 October, we have moved SWILOween. SWILoween will now be happening Saturday, 30 October, starting at 8pm, in Sharples III. Editor's note: this paragraph has been drastically altered since the original writing of this SWILnews. The black minivan of doom was not involved in the writing of this replacement paragraph, and should not be held responsible for any ill effects of reading it. The original paragraph was taken out and shot, and only fragments remain: Halloween ... Brothers ... , ... have Mafia until ... people ... mean we're waiting ... SWILoween? Misuse of marshmallows! Kyra is eating them! We think Sharples I and II are the frat houses, but SWILoween is in Sharples III. Sarah is organizing food. (is that like organizing a union? -w) (no! -n & u) E-mail her (sarahb @ sccs) with what you're planning on bringing; if you're not bringing something, plan to give her about $3. Pumpkin caroling will be Halloween evening, Sunday the 31st (duh). If you know where the printouts of the carols are, e-mail Cloak. Pumpkin caroling is when we go around to neighborhood houses and sing Halloween filks of Christmas carols. Feel free to write more, or rewrite the worse ones. (can i stop sticking my hand up over my head now? -c) (no! -n & u) (i'm driving! -c) There was no SWIL meeting the past two weeks. If you showed up, we're sorry. Last exit in New York. This is your last chance to stay in New York. Prime and Abby said Robert's name in a burbly voice and gave him money. Abby said Cloak's name in a burbly voice, and Dan gave Cloak money. We think there is a correlation here. Dismemberments: Franzi Dickson '03: She looked up sentience in the dictionary; it means you can sense things and comprehend, therefore you can comprehend sensation. Animals flee from things that will hurt them; humans will deal with a bit of pain that won't kill them. So she cut her hand. We discussed how this related to Charles Danforth '95 and the teddy bear (since the teddy bear was sentient enough not to pick up the knife and Charles wasn't). Franzi was sentient enough to want to go wash the wound, so we voted her sentient, but also the new student minimum standard of sentience. The next time Charles is in town, he and Franzi get to dumb it out for the title of global minimum standard of sentience. Marshmallows are more important than token opposition, and it was fake blood and fake skin anyway. Hannah Schneider '00: Sentience means understanding the world around you. In Jewish mysticism, the names of things tell you stuff about them. Each letter corresponds to a number. The Hebrew spelling of Hannah's first name has three letters with the values of 8, 50, and 5, adding to 63. The Hebrew word for sentience, binah, meaning understanding, adds up to 57. Hannah is 21 years old and we don't know that she was sentient before this year; 63 minus 21 equals 42. Forty-two is also the number of her music locker, where she puts some of her stuff. The number of her room, where she puts all of her stuff, is 4326, which adds up to 15. 42 plus 15 equals 57. Yay! Hannah is sentient and she is also SWIL's official numerologist. Non-SWILBusiness: (blink, blink, blink -tb) Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, after three years of trying, are finally dead. Rebecca Kuipers made a pretty pretty sculpture out of marshmallows and toothpicks. Jeff Hildebrand '92 wanted to game, but he didn't show up. Andrea hosted a dinner in her apartment. Abby found a Megan in Prime, so we now have an Amy who is a Megan who is not the Megan who is not Megan. Dagger found a Megan's "Earshot." (where "found" is defined as "got in the mail" -d) There will be a Halloween contra dance in TIC at 8 pm on Friday October 22. Costumes are encouraged, but make sure you can dance in them. The end-of-the-world party will be after the contra, in Kajos's room. (where "kajos" is pronounced "cloak," of course. -d the typist) (blame dave's roommate for the spelling. -u) The camera pans out on the van, still hurtling southward on its trajectory of doom. The attendance list of pain and glory - 2 October 1999 Rebecca "communicator with the dead" Kuipers Kyra "To kill another human being and then to devour his flesh...is that permissable?" Jucovy (tastes like chicken! -u) (bad vegetarian! -d) (I'm a vegetaritarian - I only eat vegetarians -n) Elliot "I don't exist, but I can still be ambushed and killed" Reed Robert "My tray oscillates" McFarland Rebecca "marsh mellow bugs oh my" Jones Franzi "hoooowl" Dickson David "No, not THAT 'Any' Key!" Szent-Gyorgyi '83 Lindsay "I killed an ultimate player with my sword! Woo-hoo!" Herron Jon "not all dinosaurs can sign their names" Rapkin Jay "but the others will cover for 'em" Scott Josh "Please, good people, don't steal this sentence" Burdick Andrea "Bright-Eyed, bushy-tailed, & up for hours" Hall Amy' "More like pain and lack of sleep" Marinello Abigail "Evil reigns supreme" Friedman Jennifer "Five miles on an aching hamstring from chasing Sarah Jay" Tyson Hannah "Gil Shaham looks like Rowan Atkinson" Schneider Amy "chicks dig scars...and digs char scicks" Swift (you better put "sic" on that one -w) (oh, they're all "sic" -d) Andrew "those *?@* debaters..." Szafran benjamin "You work hard slaying the orc king. Treat yourself to a fish. You deserve it.' r, george Mike "the Purple Pie Man" Camilleri Anna "Birds! Salt marsh! Hooray!" Hess Kira "It's all about speaking their language" Goetschius (aowienrvdvkut45awevn akrnt botnva ksdfja;dbunowet7 -c) Dan "Damn it, no one has any money!" Fairchild (that's because you gave it to cloak, and it wasn't even for services rendered -d) (bright lights and flashies! -u) (flashies bad -c) (at least they're not flashers -d) (or fascists -w) (can i have a cookie? -c) Will "Sleep is not for the week...this week, at least" Quale Heather "was here" Weidner Token "opposition" Septa Ben "Don't say 'meat pie' - you'll unbalance the universe." Newman (meat pie! meat pie! -w) (you knew someone had to -d) Kara "No funky marshmallow creations" Zor-El Sarah "your puny sword does nothing to me" Bergstrom -Cloak, Dagger, Noose, Oxford English Dictionary, Umbrella, and Watchcap