Date: Thu, 18 Nov 1999 11:42:30 -0500 (EST) From: Chaos Golubitsky To: _swat.org.swil @ swarthmore.edu Subject: Workers, Unite! or SWILNews #6 We, the undersigned members of the Union of Oppressed, Alienated and Overworked Co-presidents of Small-Liberal-Arts-College Science Fiction Organizations, have reached the executive decision that we are not putting up with this crap anymore. We have demands, and they are not being met by our organization. You want to know what our demands are? No, of course not. But we are going to tell you anyway. (so there. neener neener. -d) Demands: 1. Cloak wants to stop having to talk so much. 2. Dagger wants to type more. 3. Cloak and Dagger both want to stop having to write SWILNewsi for an ungrateful populus (and rabble that suck at being disorderly -d). 4. Cloak wants a dagger. 5. Dagger wants a cloak. No, wait, Dagger already has a cloak. But she wants another one. (no, i actually don't. but it sounds good. -d) 6. Cloak and Dagger want someone to do their homework for them (correctly). 7. Cloak wants an external tape drive and a Sparc 5. 8. OED wants snow. Cloak and Dagger concur. 9. Cloak wants the stupid idiots to stop parking their cars in the rose garden circle. 10. Cloak wants an altoid. But she got one. (yay, purveyor of instant fulfillment! -o) 11. Cloak and Dagger demand that someone kill Dan Blim. SWILBusiness Happy birthday to Abby, somewhat belatedly. Happy birthday to Ben Newman and Rebecca Kuipers, whose birthday it actually is today. Amy auctioned off umbrellas for celery and sexual favors. SWILoween happened a while ago on a Saturday in Sharples III. The toilet broke. There was much gaming. The Mafia swept. (and vacuumed -o) (no, the mafia did not vacuum -c) (yes, they did. you vacuumed in the morning. -o) (oh, yeah, i guess i was mafia. -c) If you came and ate and haven't yet given Sarah three dollars, you are lame. Attempt to rectify your lameness by giving her money asap. It doesn't even have to be for services rendered. Amy, Sarah, and Dagger wrote a proposal to keep Sharples III a student-reservable space. Amy, Amy', Cloak, and Dagger went to the SC meeting to present the proposal, where they withdrew it because the other major proposals allowed for students reserving the space for their own events. We got a written contract from the SCCS promising that we could reserve the space twice a year, for SWILoween and Walpurgisnacht. There is currently a run-off election between the SCCS and the Art Club proposals, which hasn't been tallied yet but should be Real Soon Now (tm). Amy is organizing getting a speaker for SWIL. If you have more ideas, e-mail her (aswift @ sccs). Lindsay is going to help with budget. Alice is here. (or rather, was there -c) The attendance list of psychological traits and sore muscles - 23 October 1999 Amy "Z J M. No!" Swift Dan "Organic Chem? Sure, that sounds interesting. Sign me up for that! Why am I taking this class?" Blim Elliot "Die! Die! Die!" Reed Rebecca "papers must burn" Jones Robert "I'm a dork and didn't sign the attendance list" McFarland benjamin 'somebody emailed me that it's Derek Jacobi's birthday, and i'm confused' r, george Andrew "sore? puckers" Szafran Kyra "He was, of course, one of those people who could raise only one eyebrow" Jucovy Snbr "Rpp s'Trbr t slwv m ll vg" J Lindsay "Top 3 things I learned this morning before 8:30 AM: (1) Though they don't seem to be making any progress, the underpass workers are delighted to start jackhammering at 7 AM. (2) If someone forgets to park their Volvo in an appropriate space, Public Safety will call students at the damn CRACK OF DAWN to find out whose it is. (3) If an alien comes to earth and starts transforming humans into zombies bent on transforming everyone else, Borg-style, this alien will set up a tent and take the human form of a Revivalist preacher." Herron (she learned this _how_? -c) (lindsay "revivalist preacher" herron?) Jimmy "Cabbage Patch Kids...Nicotine Patch Kids... Okay maybe won't use word association to help you quit." Kong Sarah "the end of the world was anti-cataclysmatic, so I have to read Plato" Bergstrom Andrea "Confused because I thought I saw this list already" Hall Ben "wouldn't recognize sleep if it bit him" Newman John "Frosted Mini-wheats" Finkbiner Amy' "Why are they now taking *down* the ramps in ML (while I try to sleep)?" Marinello Abby "Half way to 40 and loving it" Friedman (wait - isn't this a 15 mph zone? -c) Josh "self-defense through celery" Burdick (and better living through asparagus -d) Hollis "Human Bunsen Burner" Easter Jennifer "contra contra contra contra contra contra contra contra contra wheeee!!" Tyson Anna "squashed pine cones!" Hess Alecia "mint chocolate" Magnifico Kira "not planning on drowning..." Goetschius -Cloak and Dagger