Date: Sat, 15 Jan 2000 01:21:50 -0500 (EST) From: Chaos Golubitsky To: _swat.org.swil @ swarthmore.edu Subject: Who Will Survive, and What Will Be Left of SWILNews #11? Okay, we're still talking about the bad-ass minivan of doom here, so all bad-ass minivan haters should cower in their rooms, waiting for the arrival of Cloak and her katana. (i think we should put a smiley, so they won't feel threatened. :>) -c) (but you _are_ threatening them. -d) (ohh... -c) After a detour through upstate New York, the bad-ass minivan arrived in Swarthmore, where they were greeted by the singing and dancing troupe of local alumni. The singing and dancing troupe of local alumni had their own car, which was good because the bad-ass minivan was getting pretty full, and your loyal co-presidents still needed enough space to type. (on cloak's laptop, which mysteriously did not malfunction, unlike all the other computers in the world. if you believe us, that is, which would be silly, seeing as this is fiction and all... -c) So, Cloak, Dagger, Prime, and a bunch of other people drove off in the bad-ass minivan, followed by a car of singing and dancing local alums. (well, mostly singing, since they were in a moving vehicle, and you should always wear your seatbelt and keep your tray tables in an upright and locked position and your carry-on luggage stowed under the seat in front of you. -c) Their destination this time was the far away and magical land of California. (well, far away, at least... -c) (i think you've been listening to too many disneyland commercials. -d) SWILBusiness: We voted on movies, but there was another e-mail about that. Elliot is now treasurer. He expects a 10-20% commission on reimbursement checks. We expect you to disappoint him. Amy is stepping down as half-miniprop at the end of the semester. Therefore, we need a new one. Ben George said "hi." Some of us said "hi" back; we're friendly like that. (the rest of us appointed him miniprop for next semester. -d) Abby, Kyra, and maybe Ben are interested in being on the speaker committee. Lindsay will help with funding stuff. We agreed to let Swarthbucklers, the fencing team, store some foils in George, as long as they move them to the other side, away from our stuff, and label them. The swords aren't ours, so don't touch them. In return, we're hoping they'll hold a sword practice for us before the Pterodactyl Hunt. Amy is being haunted by the ghost of Kyra's banana. This PSA brought to you by the Society for the Preservation of Things You Didn't Need to Know (SPTYDNK). Presidential nominations happened. All of the following people/objects might have become SWIL president. Most of them did not. - Y2K glitch - rotting corpse of Lord Julius's Goat - Rosie and Peggy - Rubik's cubes - Venus rat-trap - salt and pepper shakers - the rocking table - transcendental meditation - cool clothing (Heather's shirt and Rebecca's kimono) - cockroaches, tupperware, and thermonuclear missile - Heather's hair - creepy bearded rollerskating guys from _The 5000 Fingers of Dr. T._ - thick glasses - Robert (of the Atlanta contingent) - the electric field - Abigail, Amy', and Ben - Hillary Clinton and Rudy Giuliani - Bob Bowman for President in 2000 - Croup and Vandermar - BEM - the cow who played the Great Beast of London in _Neverwhere_ - The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies - Polar Observer, Global Surveyor, and Pathfinder - the cup game - student council - Megan & Jess (the Southern Belles) - Ben's camera Margaret - Ro-man - Harry Potter - You-Know-Who - Sarah - Cloak and Dagger (thanks, but no. -d) (seconded. hell, and thirded. -c) - the letters B and L, and the number 6 - Cape and Knife - Mike Moore & Mike Moore Non-SWILBusiness: Fred wants to game. Fred has a new daily newsletter called sf-update with science fiction (and fact) stuff. If you want to receive it, send e-mail to majordomo @ swil.org with "subscribe sf-update" in the body of the message. Everything else is now irrelevant. The attendance list of everyone getting out of here in fewer than three pieces - 4 December 1999: ~Elliot "Corruption and Graft" Reed Amy "no right to be happy about Playford" Swift Robert "a finite number of tasks" McFarland Rebecca "a car, a car I will be able to have one soon" Jones Rebecca "seven seas that run by" Kuipers Kyra "Il mio compleanno e molto malo. Porche? No lo so!" Jucovy (english! -c) Jennifer " dance dance!" Tyson Lindsay "1...2! 2 (and a half) weeks until I get to go home! 'Ah, 'ah, 'ah!" Herron (that was my impression of the Count, in case you missed it.) Franzi "" Dickson Andrew "there's honest graft & dishonest graft" Szafran benjamin `let's vote fast so i can go wait for Josh in George while eating starch packing peanuts.' r, george John "it's Ben and Jim" Finkbiner (in george? -c) (umm... -d) Abby "Thank you sir, may i have another?" Friedman Dr. Janek's Answering "Little Black Box" Machine Ben "Tell the Goon I still haven't written my paper" Newman (whose goon? is it in your kitchen? -d) Jim "This room is surrounded by stones - who's got Rockport?" Moskowitz (you can get gas for $0.69/gallon in rockport, texas. -c) Joe "vote for Atlanta" Subliminal Kira, Anna, & Heather Andrea "Slightly out of sorts" Hall Sam "Yes, Amy, you should be happy about Playford" Weiler Jimmy "Okay let me try again. I heard a squirrel whimper for the first time." Kong Amy' "Can my pieces be (-infinity,-1), [-1,0], (0,infinity)?" Marinello (absolutely not. the function has a large value at 0.2, and, besides, what would your mother say? -c) Kara "Still fairly necessary" Zor-El Fred "devoured by the Hegelian dialectic" Bush (and it could happen to you... -c) -Cloak and Dagger