From aem @ sccs Tue Sep 12 17:05:22 2000
Date: Mon, 21 Feb 2000 18:05:24 -0500 (EST)
From: Amy' Marinello <aem @ sccs>
To: _swat.org.swil @ swarthmore.edu
Subject: And how doez SVILNewz #5 make you feel?

Ze other day, three disturbed personalitiez came to my office complaining
of, eh, strange recurring dreamz.  Yez.  Zey zeem to have ze zame dream
every Zaturday.  I cannot make, how you say, headz or tailz ov it.  Here
is ze tranzcript of our latest session, viz ze... "namez changed to
protect ze innozent."  Perhaps you can help to interpret zis dream vhich I
have had zo much trouble viz.


)) Part Vun: SVILBuziness ((

Bnjee: "BDan and Chaos were awesome, but the rest of the rabble, in a
desperate attempt to break free of the monotony of their usual behavior,
was pathetic."

Hmstng: "Next Monday, 2/28, was Bring Your Phone to Dinner Night.  I
dreamed that we needed much propping, part of which Comma volunteered to
help organize.  People with ideas for signs were supposed to talk to
him.  There was also talk of chalking next week."

Herr Doktor: "I zink zat zis iz a zign zat you need to call your mother
on ze telelphone more often."

Foko: "In my dream, there was someone named Amy who was being Replaced.  
There was also a question of who should be brought in as a speaker, though
it is not immediately clear to me what this has to do with Replacing Amy
(are you sure you don't mean Chasing? -a).  After much discussion, a vote
was taken among Norton Juster, Tamara Pierce, and Susan Cooper.  It was
decided that Tamara Pierce would be this year's speaker, although Susan
Cooper was still being investigated."

Bnjee: "Suddenly the dream became a nightmare!  (Of course, SWILMeeting is
never really a nightmare, although finding the weekly movie can
be. -q)  There was this great bug-eyed creature, vaguely reminiscent of a
magazine, called BEM.  It forced me to submit to it!  Computer art, and
pen and ink, and short stories, and poems, and... and... I had to do it by
next meeting!!  (Really! -a)"

Herr Doktor: "I zee.  I zink zat zis perhapz pointz to control izzuez."

Hmstng: "There were other things I had to submit as well!  Like designs
and slogans for t-shirts, to be voted on the week after Spring Break.  I
had to give them to Franzi!  And I had to come up with Schlock ideas for
the week after that.  So much to do, so little time!"

Foko: "In my dream, I have this overwhelming urge to destroy Spam.  But I
don't know how!  If only somebody would give me ideas on how best to do
the evil deed, I would be able to choose the best course of action at next
week's meeting!"

Herr Doktor: "Ziz zeemz to indicate zat you are vun ov zoze people who do
not appreciate ze economic conditionz vich lead to ze consumption of Zpam.  
Do you conzider yourzelf a classist person?"  (I do, I do! -a)  (No, dear,
that's 'a classICist'. -q)

Bnjee: "It was horrible!  Sharples III was under construction!  
Fortunately, Chaos, being full of ingenuity and having the support of
food, with whom she was running Walpurgisnacht, found that the WRC might
be reserved instead, and steps were being taken towards this end.  
Everyone was going to go home over break and bring back stories of horror
and fertility to share at Walpurgisnacht!"

Herr Doktor: "Ahh, Valpurgishnakt...."

Hmstng: "Then I dreamed that the coming movie would be The Wizard of Speed
and Time.  Then suddenly I had a vision of that Monday, and the movie was
Clash of the Titans instead!"  (You mean this anonymous person and her
wonderful roommate *also* called every video store within a seven-mile
radius of campus?! -q)

Herr Doktor: "Remember, ze future az zeen in our dreamz doez not alvayz
come to pass.  Perhapz zat Chaoz perzon you zpoke ov earlier vill drive
great diztancez und meet viz succezz in obtaining zis Vizard.  I do not
know yet, but ve shall haf to vait und see."  (Worship the Chaos.  Bow to
the Chaos. -b)


)) Part Two: NonSVILBuziness ((

Foko: "There was this man dressed all in neutral earth tones.  He had a
bow and arrow.  Also, he was on a movie screen.  Twice.  And he turned
into a fox.  It all began Saturday night, 2/19, at 6:30-ish.  For this
strange and wonderous occurence, we have only Abi-Wan to thank."  (Umm,
hey. -a)

Bnjee: "I dreamt that this alum, DaveP, decended on campus, along with the
rest of this 'Atlanta Contingent' thing.  He spoke of starting a campaign
to bring back POG, even if it meant stealing Carleton's reservoir."

Hmstng: "Then there was apparently gaming on Sunday 2/20 with Kyra and her
brother.  It happened at 2:30 in Parlours, and it was fun!"

Herr Doktor: "Und exactly vhat kind ov 'fun' vas zis?"  (Um. -abq)

Foko: "There was this guy Fred, and he was leaving us and his job, so he
threw this big party that Saturday night, and lots of people went and had
fun, and they all promised to play lots of games with him before he left
in mid-March, because they were going to miss him a whole lot."

Herr Doktor: "Vell, Fred iz just zis guy, you know?"

Bnjee: "I dreamt that Megan, one of those 'Atlanta Contingent' people, had
to watch Buffy all by herself on Tuesday nights, off a tape!  Fortunately
for the rest of us, Kira was going let us watch the next week's episodes
of Buffy and Angel in her room.  Even more fortunately, the Marathon
continued, and Spike came to town!"  (You have to love a guy who says
'piffle', even if he sucks all your blood! -a)  (<pat, pat> -q)

Hmstng: "There was this really strange scene about SWAPA needing
collation.  The exchange went something like this:
	Schmul: 'SWAPA needs collation!'
	Rabble: 'Aaaaawwwwwwwww.'
	Schmul: 'It's very small.'
	Rabble: 'Awwwwwwwwwwwww.'
	Schmul: 'And cute.'
	Rabble: 'AAAwwwwwwwwwww.'
	Schmul: 'This means it will collate quickly.'
	Rabble: 'Awwwww.'
	Prezes: 'MmmmmmMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.'
	Schmul: 'I need a lift to the mall post office.'
	Rabble: 'Mmmm?'
	Schmul: 'The one in the Ville closed at noon.'
	Rabble: 'Aaaaaahhhhhhhh.'
Can you make anything of that?"

Herr Doktor: "No."

Foko: "Then there were open invitations to visit DaveP in Boston and Megan
in Atlanta.  But no more aaaawwwwwwwwwwws."

Bnjee: "We were supposed to go see Hollis in Damn Yankees.  It was going
to run the weekend of March 25th."  (This reminds me... one more day until
regular players report for Spring Training! -a)

Herr Doktor: "I zink zat zis fixation on ze Yankeez reveals an unhealthy
(but highly intelligent! -a) mind.  Do you vind zat you vreqvently break
into zong und dance vhen you zhink about ze game ov bazeball?"

Hmstng: "DanB was going to be showing a Festival of Ians on Friday the
25th, at 7:30 in Kohlberg 115.  The movies were The Sweet Hereafter and
Gods and Monsters.  He also told us to listen to his radio show."

Foko: "There were going to be Waltz Workshops on Thursday the 24th during
English dance class, and Sunday the 27th from 3:30 to 6:00.  I dreamed
that I had an irresistable urge to go!"

Bnjee: "That same Sunday, starting at 7:30, there was going to be a story
reading in Greylock 301."  (Woohoo! -b)

Hmstng: "Finally, that Chaos person announced that since this is, in fact,
a leap year, she gets to have a half-birthday.  Just so we knew."  (Hint,
hint? -q)

Foko: "Do you think this means we're somehow leading a double life?"

Bnjee: "Or having an obsession with undercover spoons?"

Hmstng: "Or really from a small planet somewhere in the vicinity of
Betelgeuse?"

Foko: "Most of all, who are these people, and why are we dreaming about
their organizational meetings?!"

Herr Doktor: "Hm.  Yez, zat is a very ztrange dream.  Vell, ve're out of
time.  Zee you next veek!"


)) The Attendance List of Homocondimentiality ((

Hollis "Hugging Nori is done!" Easter
Salt & salt shakers
Pepper & pepper shakers
Assorted molecules
Starring Jim Moskowitz as The Book
	with Arcadia Falcone as Trillian
	Robert McFarland as Arthur Dent
	Sarah Bergstrom as Slartibartfast
	Josh Burdick as Prosthetnic Vogon Jeltz
	Hannah Schneider as One
	and Dan Fairchild as Ford Prefect
Arcadia "What do you mean, I shouldn't study on the third floor
	of McCabe?  I only checked out six books, and not _all_
	of them were in Russian..." Falcone
Megan "See, I'm starting a new job on Wednesday, so since I had
	a bit of time..." Hallam
Robert "Saturday lunch: it's not just for breakfast any more!"
	McFarland
David "Destroyer of harmonic balancer" Phillips
Sarah "fnords in Africa" Bergstrom
Rebecca "And the ears of the Cosmic Person became the 4
	directions.  Why?" Paul  =  )
Lindsay "Does it bother anyone else that to become a Pokemon master,
	one must trap wild + free creatures + keep them in a ball
	the size of my fist, releasing them only to fight other
	Pokemon for one's own selfish ends??" Herron  (No. -abq)
Kira "On several sucker lists" Goetschius
Franzi "it *was* milk" Dickson
Josh "spiced with Curry" Burdick
Hannah "sitra akhra" Schneider
Melissa "my right side is of inferior construction" Running
Jennifer "Nuair a bha mi og" Tyson
and Ben Newman as Benjy mouse (hey, what about us? -aq)
Anna "SEEDS!" Hess (signed in by Jiffy-loo)
Amy "thok knife" Swift
~Elliot "What?  I don't understand." Reed
chaos "headaches and noise and collation and noise and swil"
	golubitsky
benjamin 'you'd think they'd make it easier to report epidemics...'
	r, george
Rebecca "Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-papagena" Kuipers
Kyra "Evil is good!  Evil is the job!" Jucovy
BDan "No one's surprised to see me in the breakfastroom in the
	morning any more." Fairchild
Eileen "Ghwr3aidh" Thorsos
Dan "licks the beaters... hehehe" Blim


)) Abi-Wan Kenobi, Ben Kenobi, and Queen Amydala ((