(OK, we need a cheesey introduction -d) (ROTFLOL That shouldn't be that funny -s) (That's OK. It isn't. -g) Preheat the oven. We might not actually use the oven, but you can't do any cooking unless you preheat the oven. In this case preheat to (let's see, SWILies are red meat, so maybe 350? 400 degrees? -s) (liberal arts degrees? -d) (B. A. meal? -g), well preheat it to your favorite (real-valued) temperature. Once you have set the oven to start preheating, proceed to: *** SWILBusiness *** We called the meeting to disor-waitforit-der, or was it disor-waitforit-disorwaitforitder-er, umm, no, disord-waitforit-ord-waitforit-der. Something or other. The rabble were pathetic execpt Kyla. The least pathetic ingredients should be selected as the topping. The less savory ingredients are chopped and cooked a lot. So remember that when it's time to be disorderly. Before cooking, one must always be clean. Dark's ears need to be washed. Why his ears have anything to do with the cooking, we don't want to know. Think of Schlock. (Boy, that was unpleasant. -d) Voting will be this Saturday. That is, 2 days from now. Really. It's important to use fresh food. However, the expiration dates given always allow a little leeway. For example, the Absolute Final Deadline (TM) for submissions to BEM was yesterday, but you can probably get away with sneaking your submissions in soon. Speaking of horrible, rotten, disgusting, putrid food, one must never ever cook with Spam. Ever. In fact, a good chef must fight the good fight to eliminate Spam from this good earth. So come up with ways to eliminate Spam by March 24th. That is, [ways to eliminate Spam] by March 24th, not ways to [eliminate Spam by March 24th]. Get rid of our books, you stupid, illiterate people. The Book Sale will happen next Thursday and Friday in Sharples in one of the upper rooms. Contact Stone to help. One must wear the proper attire while cooking. Now, that is not to say that SWILshirts are proper attire, but still, get your T-Shirt designs in to Franzi by April 6th. (No! No naked people! -s) There will not be a SWILspeaker this year. BDan is working on contacting Lloyd Alexander (with a HINT of oregano -g). (Hello, Joel. -s) (He-lloooooooo, Joel! -g) (That's not how it was said. -s) (But we're running out of ingredients. -g) One of the most delectable of entrees is Pterodactyl steak. The finest of chefs hunts this game himself. (Look, the male pronoun has been stripped of any gender (whatsoever -s) (ow! -g) while the female pronoun actually carries feminine content. -d) If you would like to enhance your hunting prowess, they're /vcom ming to tak me away..,... At this point, Stone and Gold quite literally wrestle the keyboard away from Darkness. (Never again... -s) (Can I let him up now? -g) (I suppose so. -s) If you would like to practice hunting Pterodacyls, we're play-testing on Saturday. Despite the abilities of ice to keep meat good for months, we will NOT be playtesting on ice. No Pterodactyl Hunt on Ice. Just no! (Hunt on the rocks? -d) (BDan is... ha ha... -g) (organizing... haha -s) (an Eye of... Eye of... hahaha -d) (hahahahahahah -~Elliot) (Argon reading. -g) If you want to help with the 2nd Annual root beer Keg Party, contact Stone or Gold. (Damn! How are we going to tie root beer into our cooking theme? Root beer has nothing to do with food! -s) (I think helping out with this event would give people valuable experience in the field of Drink Mixing. You know, like pink and yellow lemonade. -g) (137 SWILlies walk into a bar... -s) Monday's movie is Siegfried. Fried Sieg is very yummy, though a little fattening. Okay, a lot fattening. But damn, is it good. (! You're leaving spaces before hitting return?! -g) (I was going to say something about a deep fryer. -s) (As opposed to a profound monk? -d) (Fryer, not friar! Hmm... not as funny when written as opposed to spoken... -s) (Oh well. -g) Franzi, being one of the seven people who got to meeting on time, as opposed to last week's thirteen, won fun bubbles in the Lottery. You, too, can win fun things if you get to meeting on time. It is very important when cooking to time things correctly. Otherwise you could have burnt SWILlies, and, ew. (Plus being on time makes you less pathetic, and you know that's good. Remember? -g) *** NonSWILBusiness *** Sam has discovered a conspiracy that must be addressed: ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US We decided to address it to: Mr. Despicable, c/o Costa Rica, for 35 cents. Tonight, you should take the money and run... oh, no, wait. On Saturday, you should have gone to see Take the Money and Run. Unless you went to Will and Fred's and lay around for 3 hours sleep-- er, gaming. DanB's radio show is on Sundays from 9-11am. People should listen. "You don't have class at that time" is the motto of the show. Also, there's nothing like soothing music while cooking. (I find it rather hard to cook and soothe music at the same time. -d) (We never should have let you up again. -s) (They won't let me be In the Kitchen. -d) ( -g) BDan has been assimilated by the Borg. His implant is in his room. You, on the other hand, should know enough to have all your cooking utensils handy before starting to bake. At this point, with all your SWILlies nicely diced and spiced, set them to cook for 30 minutes. Remove them from the oven, cover them with a nice Kyla sauce, and let cool until room temperature. *** The Attendance Linked List -- 2/24/01 *** Kyla "multiple purples of pen, plus nefariously labeled photos" Tornheim (who knew what would happen all along) BDan "black coat with white hands" Fairchild The "Faeder ure" Patriarchy Franzeska "actually here" Dickson Kyra "Why play dice with the universe when you can play foosball... with HUMAN LIVES!?" Jucovy (LOL -gs) ( -d) ~Elliot "Despite your protests, I'm still going to destroy my life with stress!" Reed (But that ruins all the tenderness of the meat... -s) benjamin 'no necessity operators here' r, george & Callicles 'Alisdair Macintyre doesn't love me!' the Moose (I don't either, according to Quaker Matchbox. -g) (But I do. -d) Tobasco & Pepper ~Sam "ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US" Crane John "YOUR AD HERE!!" Finkbiner Amy' "Wow! I think I can render everything so far!" Marinello Robert "bound in a delta well" McFarland Abby "wanton woman" Friedman Joel "I made it here today, in spite of the boundy hunter we ran into on Ord Mantell" McNary (What kind of animal is a bounty? Is it yummy? -s) Michael "Booga booga II" McNary Dan "We have no king but Jesus. Oh yeah, and there's that Elizabeth chick too." Blim =) Sarah "Elizabeth is a king now?" McNary John "YOUR OTHER AD HERE" Finkbiner Ben "~living in Greylock 301" Newman (Ben is dead in Greylock 301?! -d) (Let's hurry over there while the meat's still fresh. -s) *** Gold, Stone, and Darkness *** (Do we have any epilogue? -d) (If you don't like our recipe, blame... -g) (Now it looks like blame me! -g) (I have no problems with that. Darkness? -s) (Hey! He says yes! He has major problems with it! -g) (Let's let Darkness speak for himself, shall we? -s) (I don't think I'm being allowed to have an opinion. I'm under the heel of the Matriarchy. -d) (Get your foot off Darkness! You only get to oppress him when he's making puns and writing overly-suggestive things! -s) (No. -g) (Well, I'm the Matriarchy too, so there. Darkness says yes, according to me. :-P -s) (The matriarchy has fallen in civil war. I now conclude this SWILNewsa in the name of the Patriarchy of One-Space-Between-Sentences. -d) (Okay, you can put your foot back on him. -s)