Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. (I hope someone tells me something else to write soon. -g) Heads. Heads. (Write: Goose! -s) Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Okay. (I have now successfully stolen the keyboard. -s) (I saw this movie once. It had characters named Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, and there was something about a boat. -g) *** SWILBusiness *** The rabble were. (On a boat. -d) (No. -g) (Can't you be on a boat? I have often been on boats. -s) Sign up for Challenge Chess. It will be Saturday at 2:00, but we'll need help carrying carpet squares a little before then. Check the fun list post for details (no, we haven't sent the post yet. Don't e-mail us. Ever. -g) SWILlies can't deal with change. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. (I can't deal with change either. Maybe Darkness should type. -s) (I can't deal with change either. Maybe we should find someone who works retail. -g) Future Wars beat Valley of Gwangi (to a pulp -d). That is, we will be showing Future Wars as Schlock instead of Valley of Gwangi. To recap, the Schlock movies are: The Star Wars Holiday Special Future Wars Beastmaster 2 (Ha! I have the keyboard back! Too bad no actual wrestling is going on this week. -g) Future Wars. Future Wars. Future Wars. Future Wars. T-shirt voting will happen April 7th. Get Franzi your designs and/or slogans before then. To submit to BEM, or not to submit to BEM. That is the question. (Well, not so much a question, as a life-or-death decision, respectively. -s) -Shall we destroy Spam? --Yes. -Statement! One / Love. --How shall we destroy Spam? -Why don't you ask SWIL? --Shall we use a trebuchet? -No. --Statement! One all. -Shall we build a monolith and beat it with bones? --Why would we do that? -Why not? --What for? -Repetition! Two / One. Game point. --Why don't we launch it into space? -Why don't we poke it in the eye? --We'd have to touch it. -Statement! Three / One. Game. --Shall we serve Spamshakes? -Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! --Exclamation! Love / One. -Shall we try Spamzilla? --Do you really think Kyla's short? -Non sequitur! One all. --Shall we reenact the Spam Valentine's Day Massacre? -How would we reenacct something that never happened? --Then let's electrocute it! -Statement! Two / One. Game point! --Why don't we freeze it in liquid nitrogen and see what happens? -Can we also send it to our Congressmen as snail-mail Spam? --Hee hee. Sure. -Statement! Three / One. Game, set, match! (For those of you in our studio audience (We have a studio? -s), this means we will be freezing Spam (probably on 4/13), but also, separately, mailing it to the Congresspeople of whoever is willing to Spam the US government. -g) Kyra can deal with change! Give her all of your two-headed coins. *** NonSWILBusiness *** The wall is not SWIL currency. You may not abscond with it. (I have a job! Yay! -g) There will, one day, be a storyreading. Jim sent email to the fun list, so you should have read that. (At the end of the play, the lights go off and Darkness is all that's left. -d) (I object. -s) (We can't object, we're dead, apparently. -g) (Well, that was sudden. -s) *** The Attendance List of Backwards Rooms and Speechless Presidents 3/24/01 *** ~Elliot "First Cause" Reed JC "Claes Van Der Poele" Ravage (Hey! If you rearrange that, it spells "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt"! -g) (Hey! His name is my name too! -s) Arcadia "semiotic promiscuity and Jane Austen" Falcone (What does 'semiotic' mean? -s) (Stone cold Jane Austen. -d) (I didn't think 'cold' was a verb. -s) (It's the past tense of 'col'. -d) Lady "Little breezes dusk and shiver" of Shalott Kyla "mannerisms on demand" Tornheim (I'm sick and tired of your mannerism! It's just as bad as your sexism, and ageism, and racism! -d) Rebecca "grapenuts will cure the world" Jones (Of what? -g) BDan "A kind of silly unicorn" Fairchild Jim "Hat-balancers of the world, unite^H^H^H^H^H untie! You have nothing to lose but your strings!" Moskowitz (Yay! -g) (Yay! -s) (Yay party hats! -g) John "Spam Spam Spam Spam" Finkbiner (At-tack... of the kil-ler Spa-am.... -gsd) Amy' "sigma" Marinello Robert "not congruent to George W Bush (mod 7)" McFarland (But ingesting white powder will make you like George W Bush. -g) Abby "" Friedman Ben "Spring has sprung!" Newman (So he says, and then it snows. -s) Kyra "Like a straying baby lamb, with no mama and no papa" Jucovy (Mary had a little lamb, and all the doctors stared in amazement. -s) (Closed, piecewise smooth path whose components have winding numbers 3, 2, 1, and 0 about the origin when oriented counterclockwise. -g) JC "Giving everyone else, indirectly, money" Ravage Callicles 'I am not doing the "Names and Blasphemy" thing' the Moose & benjamin 'why-ever not?' r, geoge & Margeret 'well, don't expect me to' the Camera (Statement! -s) {\tt &Daphne the^H^H^H 'I just don't get you people' the Typewriter} *** Gold, Stone, and Darkness *** Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, Thursday and Friday only, in LPAC at 8:00. Arrive early for good seats.