From daniel at sccs.swarthmore.edu Tue Sep  3 22:58:18 2002
Date: Wed, 13 Feb 2002 00:35:54 -0500 (EST)
From: Couth 
Reply-To: Presidents 
To: The SWIL List:  ;
Subject: Political Infighting in SWILNews #3

(They're not here. -s)
(I know. -s)
(So what should we do? -s)
(We could start with
***SWILBusiness*** -s)
(Ruly, Kempt, and Couth agreed to take all the blame for everything ever

(Kempt seized control of the capitol on tuesday, leading some analysts to
suspect that the region will continue to destabilize. -k)

(we have signed a cease-fire on the grounds that we're tired of fighting over
the keyboard. -ks)

(We have also agreed that everything should be Couth's fault. -s)

(agreed. -k)

The rabble were pathetic.

(the rabble are not pathetic! it's all an oligarchical lie! free the people! i
will be their champion! -k)

(down with Sheveled! with his lackey Couth out of the picture, my time to
strike draws near! -k)

Some people signed up to tend bar at the kegger. More people should.

(no! no! you're just aiding the establishment! -k)

(What do you have against Paces?  Paces is a fine establishment!  Or will be
when we're through with it. -s)

(this is exactly what's wrong with "El Presidente"'s policies -- he talks
about this plan, but little does he realizes that it will squander my... er...
the proletariat's deposit. -k)

The Kegger needs music, so if you have suggestions, send them to ~Sam
(scrane1) or BC (bphilli1) as soon as you read this.

(If you can get recordings to them, that would be even better. -s)

(And there should be New Order. -s)

(we would like to take this opportunity to issue a press release to the effect
that Couth is alive, but has fallen ill and will not be able to talk to the
press or engage in national business. we apologize for the inconvenience.
please ignore the tanks surrounding his room. -k)

(What tanks? -s)

(the ones you signed an executive order to deploy, of course. you'll find that
the records show i had no involvement at all. -k)

Decoration-making for the kegger will happen at 7:00 on Wednesday and 2:00
p.m. on Friday.

(No one said anything about that at meeting! -s)

(the party is altering the historical record to suit its own agenda! -k)

(No, the party always transcribes history exactly as it happened. -r)

(you can't pretend to channel Ruly! that was going to be my secret backstab
move! -k)

(I would like to point out at this time that I have not signed the ceasefire.
-c) (I would also like to point out that the party is going to be at 10 on
Saturday in Paces, and will have nothing more political than a root beer keg
going on. -c)

Before the party, we'll need to decorate Paces.  The Party wants YOU to show
up at Paces at 7:00 on Saturday.  The Party wants you to help clean up
afterwards, too.

JC was not demoted to Secretary-Private.

(there's just no accountability left! we can't trust the military
establishment to police itself! -k)

Nominate books, you stupid illiterate people!  Send your nominations to
presidents at swil.org !

(if the people are illiterate, it is only because your corrupt government has
denied them proper education! -k)

(MY corrupt government!?  I wasn't the one caught with the mink! -s)

(you're only attacking my character to distract the media from the fact that
your character is an annoying paladin! -k)

(say, now that Couth is gone, do you think it's a good time to plot his
assassination? -k)

(of course. -r)

The Massacre will be in the middle room of Sharples this Thursday.  If you
want to participate, you should have signed up at meeting.  If you want to
watch (or take pictures! -s), get there at 6:00.

Submit to BEM!

Comma's authority was not being respected.

(Of course not.  How could anyone respect the authority of someone who would
do *that* with a mink? -s)

(lies! all lies! besides, the mink consented, and isn't what's really
important the fact that i've been trying to lead us forward, while *some*
people have been wasting our time and resources on partisan bickering!? -k)

Schlock nominations and voting will be in two weeks.  Be sure to think of
movies with LOW, LOW, LOW production values!  And comparable plot and
dialogue! (you know, i think this whole fighting-over-the-keyboard thing

(should stop right n9o9


(i think somebody

(seeing as how somebody is liable to get hurt . -k)

In three weeks, we will be nominating and voting on T-shirt designs!  Submit
T-shirt designs, you stupid illiterate people!

(blaming the people for their own oppression again? for shame! -k)

(help, help!  the people are repressing themselves! -c)

(It's not the fault of the people!  It's the bureaucrats! -s)

Mark says we're mysteriously out $22.18 in our Transportation budget.

Blame Enron, you foolish broke people!

The list of remaining movies this semester is: 
2/11 Return of the Killer
Tomatoes (What a great movie!  Too bad you missed it.  -s) 
2/18 After Life
2/25 Pi 
3/04 Dungeons & Dragons 
3/18 Five Million Years To Earth 
3/25 A Matter of Life and Death 
4/01 The Lathe of Heaven 
4/08 Kiki's Delivery Service 
4/15 Open Your Eyes 
4/22 HELP! 
4/29 Delicatessen 
5/13 Star Trek IV: the Voyage Home

The lottery happened.  Abby' didn't win, but Amy did.  She won a 2d6,
rejecting the Magic Loops!

(Am I going to have to bring the Magic Loops to every meeting this semester?
-s)

***NonSWILbusiness***

The English-Scottish Ball happened Saturday night.

Mathnet happened at 1:30 on Saturday.  There were primates.

(endangered primates? more proof that your regime is squandering our precious
natural resources! -k)

(i think kempt may become an endangered primate shortly. -c)

(you're just bitter because you know i was right about those exclusive-ors in
semantics. -k)

(actually, i'm more bitter about the assassination plot. -c)

(it was Ruly's idea. -k)

Kyla was lost and found.

There will be story reading next Friday at Jimmosk's!  Bring stories you want
to nominate to win a Hugo.  Or others.

Jonathan was struck for taking a spec to the "Secret Garden" when JC wasn't
looking.

Puckers happened tomorrow on Sunday.

Anna Hess is coming on Wednesday and staying until Sunday.  She wants a
roundsing, so one will happen next Saturday from 1:00-3:00 or so.

It's been 1001 days since ' left Willets!

Alex has got nothing.

Alex has still got nothing.

Alex has still got nothing.

(He would have something, but my copresidents' have chosen to enrich
themselves at the expense of the rabble.  -s)

(but they're the rabble!  that's what they're there for. -c)

(We have agreed to shoot Couth and form a national unity government in which
Kempt's party will be given control of the roads, the Post Office, the
Ministry of Fisheries, and the Bureau of Weights and Measures. -sk)

(_I_ haven't agreed to anything, except possibly that kempt and sheveled will
be shot, and ruly and I will form a coalition government, of a yet
undetermined organization. -c)

(little do you realize that Ruly has joined up with us in exchange for control
of the Customs Service and the Nectarine Products Review Board. -ks)

(What does it matter?  By next meeting, our assassination plot will have lead
to the death of Couth anyway. -s)

(But we need to visibly keep Ruly's support to avoid messy reprisals from
Couth loyalists in the Coast Guard and Bureau of Philately Standards. -k)

The Attendance List of Not Yanking Violently on ~Elliot's Hat

BDan "Painted Dancer" Fairchild
Kyla "humble yet French, oxymoronic though it may be." Tornheim
Abby "He showed me his *ass!* =)" Friedman (Umm. -c)
Amy' "I'm so glad I wasn't there" Marinello
Jim "Due to integration, Amy' is now Amy, and Amy is Amy2/2 (+C)" Moskowitz
Amy "unexpected guest" Swift
chaos "nice try, dude" golubitsky
JONATHAN "SEE ENTRY UNDER 'WARD, NICK'" SCHNEIDER*
Alexander "Red Naxela" D.
Rachel "objects" Sapiro
The Water "The Brastic, Hudibrastic, Necromantic, Pyromaniac from Chattanooga,
Tennessee" Carrier
So, this is what it's like to be on the illustrious list!  Skoal!
MARK "BALANCING THE BUDGET... AND AS SUCCESSFUL AS CONGRESS" HANDLER
Ben "If you fall off, I'm going to laugh..." Mitchell
Scott "Kitsch *NSync" Jay
Nick "Bartholomew Cubbins and his 500 hats" Ward
Rebecca "yay!  holepunchers are my friends" Kuipers
Ben "eeeeeeeeethp!" Newman
JC "Raif Sevrance" Ravage
Callicles "message from Big Al" the Moose
John "'||||||||' - Woodstock" Finkbiner
Rebecca "Message from little Al" Jones
Robert "Punctuality -3" McFarland
~Elliot "Only 15 credits of seminar :(" Reed
benjamin "CS046 is a linguistics course - really." r, george

* THIS FOOTNOTE IS TOO SEXY FOR ITS CAR

Brought to you by your faithful and loyal and harmonious team of
co-presidents, Ruly, Kempt, Sheveled, and Couth

(now that Sheveled and Kempt are gone, i wonder if it's a good time to plot
their assassinations? -c)
(of course it is. -c)
(but the assassinations have to be harmonious. -c)
(i know!  i'll use music to turn them into tomatoes.  that will be
harmonious. -c)