/***************/ /* SWILNews #7 */ /***************/ //SWILNews #7 is More than Meets the Eye// /*********************/ /* This Week in SWIL */ /*********************/ 1) Movie Next Week : Brother from Another Planet 2) Next week's Game of the Week is Chez Geek. 3) T-shirt voting will be at this week's meeting. Bring your designs! 4) The Grand Mle is on Saturday April 5th. Sign up to be a participant or referee (the two roles are not mutually exclusive!) by e-mailing JC [jravage1]. 5) Start thinking about movies for next fall. All SWILNewsii: http://www.swil.org/SWILnews/Spring03/index.html /****************/ /* SWILBusiness */ /****************/ No matter how hard they try, the rabble cannot transform into anything better than Patheticons. There will be an epic struggle for control of T-Shirtron next week, on planet Sharples 4 in the Meeting Sector. Bring your designs so that they will have a chance to receive the greatest honor in cybernetic outerwear-dom. The Autobots will finally confront the evil Decepticons and defeat them in the Grand Mle in two weeks. Transform your foam funnoodles into fighting weapons of every type and do battle on the Plains of Trotter! Nominate e-books, you stupid, illetterate Cybertronians! Thanks to the miracle of non-linear editing technology, the Lottery occurred here, but is actually there. Make sure to bring your suggestions to the next meeting for live games to entertain the visiting Parental Units, and spectacles to recruit Specticons. Parents' Weekend is the 12th and 13th solar cycle of the human month known as April. Suggestions for the Swarthmore Ville Fun Fair, which is on April 6th, are also welcome. It has come to the attention of SWILNewsus Prime that several Czechticons have infiltrated SWIL. It may become necessary to use the Universal Greeting "Walpurgisnacht!" to appease stories of horror, fertility, and trees. The national celebration of Arbor Day, in which our transforming tree masters proclaim their glorious reign, will occur on the last Friday in April, the 25th. There are other major events scheduled for that day, so we will confirm an actual date at meeting. We now interrupt this regular broadcast of "SWILlies: Robots in Disguise" for a message from our sponsor... "Nothing says 'Alcohol' Like Greg" We now return you to our regularly scheduled programming There will be a SWIL-sponsored panel, featuring James Morrow and Judith Berman, on the subject of what it means to be human in science fiction literature. The date for this discussion will probably be Monday, April 28th. /***********/ /* Lottery */ /***********/ Chaos won the lottery, receiving an official American Helicopter Museum AirProp hand-propelled helicopter in stylish neon orange. /********************/ /* Non-SWILBusiness */ /********************/ Time now features a redundant USB port located behind his left ear. It has been decided to never decide to have an all-campus orgy. Death peked Time, who didn't duck. People talked about going to Peking, but it never happened. Eventatron has several other modes, including Fawlty Towers battle mode, a Creativity Workshop attack mode, a Zombie Audition mode, and a Magic Flute destruction mode! Be sure not to attempt to transform your Eventatron exo-suit into all of these modes at once. Especially since they have all already happened. Since they can easily transform into several different shapes, zombies aren't necessarily hexagonal. There will be a Contron Dance on Friday from 7 to 10 pm in Upper Tarble. This is not a Black-Tie Mode event. /***************************/ /* Corrections/Retractions */ /***************************/ If you're Optimal Optimus, 2 + 2 = fire engine, not gnu as was previously reported. /*******************/ /* Attendance List */ /*******************/ //The Attendance List of Radioactive Pancake Supermonsters// Jim "Rallye Ho!" Moskowitz BDan "beyond the lavender singularity" Fairchild Jillian "because I can't think of anything to say" Waldman Kelsey "Hey, everybody! Jillian Waldman's new name is 'J'Iliad', okay?" Hollenback Mai "like the personal pronoun" Pucik Arthur "What a shriveled little hot dog!" Chu The Artist Formerly Known As Greg Robinson ~Elliot "not my most brilliant moment" Reed Abby "It's not slash if it isn't made up by Kyra" Friedman chaos "distinguished from what?" golubitsky Rachel "ice cream and chocolate and cookies... I shouldn't be allowed in stores by myself." Sapiro Kyra "There's more to life than books, you know... but not much more." Jucovy ~Sam "Applesauce & pancakes are SO GOTH" Crane. Michael "The SEPTA DayPass of Destruction, Death, and DOOM! Sony "Risen" Clie T665C Buffy "Alive, Dead, Alive, Dead, Alive..." Summers Sarah "Emissary from the Frozen North... by which I mean New York City." Nicolazzo JC "THE HIGH COUNCIL" Ravage benjamin 'thip!' r, george Callicles 'spoit!' the Moose Nick "Nurdtron... MAXIMIZE!!!" Ward Rebecca "Mrs. Bennett's nerves" Kuipers MARK "Grak" HANDLER /******************/ /* Smacking Stats */ /******************/ //This Week// ___|_d_|_t_|_w_|tot| _d_|_X_|_0_|_5_|_5_| _t_|_3_|_X_|_4_|_7_| _w_|_1_|_0_|_X_|_1_| tot|_4_|_0_|_9_|_13| Most Smacks: Time Most Smacked: War //Spring '03// ___|_d_|_t_|_w_|tot| _d_|_X_|_13|_21|_34| _t_|_25|_X_|_23|_48| _w_|_17|_10|_X_|_27| tot|_42|_23|_44|109| Most Smacks: Time Most Smacked: War /***********/ /* The End */ /***********/ Brought to you by your friendly neighborhood '80s TV revivalists, The Mark of Death, The Nick of Time, and The Ravage of War