/***************/ /* SWILNews #9 */ /***************/ //Now Pitching, #9, SWILNews// /*********************/ /* This Week in SWIL */ /*********************/ 1) Live Challenge Tic-Tac-Toe will happen at 3 PM. If it runs long enough, it can transition to Game of the Week and a round of Telemarketer/Telephone Oracle can be played. If you have suggestions for challenges (or lists of previous challenges) e-mail the presidents at [presidents @ swil.org]. 2) Walpurgisnacht will happen Saturday, April 26, unless you have a really good reason why it shouldn't. 3) Movie Next Week : The Adventures of Baron von Munchhausen All SWILNewsii: http://www.swil.org/SWILnews/Spring03/index.html /****************/ /* SWILBusiness */ /****************/ Wow. The rabble struck out without even being pitched to. How pathetic! Elliot is 4 trolls. . Kyra's come down with a case of sexual food, and will be spending some time on the DL Coming in relief of Kyra and BDan as BEM Co-eds, batting 3rd, Arthur and Qian. All hail Arthur and Qian. Nominate books you stupid illiterate players! Books nominated will be voted on, and the top vote getters will go to the all-star game, err, Cordwainer Bird science fiction library, which is located on the second floor of Cornell, for those of you who don't know. BDan moved his feet by SWILVote. Unfortunately, he was left stranded at 3rd base. The Grand Melee happened. All participants involved in the second-largest bench-clearing brawl of the season were suspended for three games and fined $10,000, except for the winners, Toby Sanan (1st), Todd Gillette (2nd), and Jordan Rosen (3rd). Next year's uniforms were voted on. The new team logo will be some sort of Phoenix/'Dactyl cross with the caption "Oracle, where do SWILlies come from?". The duck failed to show up and forfeited, though it still almost won. Comma is responsible for Nick not being here. Nick is responsible for Nick Ward, err, Global Warming. Walpurgisnacht night at the SWILdome will be catered by Kelsey, who volunteered to buy food and Qian. We're planning to obtain SAC funding, so ticket prices will be free, as opposed to being determined by the Rebecca Paul evil economist system (TM). Somebody should run housing bingo, since Rebecca Paul retired. Housing bingo happens during the night of soph. room draw. The remaining rooms are scrambled and placed on bingo boards, and as they're picked, they're crossed off. Winners receive prizes. Mark had a bad day at the plate. First he was tempted to build a crane, then after being hit by a pitch, he was caught stealing one from Dupont. The panel has been rained out and rescheduled for next semester. Your tickets may be redeemed for their value in paper or a duck, whichever you'd prefer. /********************************/ /* 7th Inning stretch - Lottery */ /********************************/ Comma won with the New York Jets. Comma won eyes, and traded them for a chance to win a goat in the bowl. We fooled him and the bowl only contained a puzzle sphere. /************************************/ /* Now in relief - Non-SWILBusiness */ /************************************/ Jim and Abby will make you all go hunt for the ball when he comes in to pitch an easter egg hunt. E-mail him if interested [jim @ jimmosk.com]. In other action on Saturday: Jazz Band beat Hollis's concert 8 PM to 3 PM. Noda brought games, so the season will continue. Jawaad's birthday improved to 2 Pm - 12 Pm on the season in Kohlberg Field. Chaverim went into extra innings at Haverford, the results were not received in time for this printing of SWILNews #9. /*******************/ /* Attendance List */ /*******************/ //Attendance List of Yes there should NOT be an attendance list// Chris "I have no nickname, and thus I suck" Segal Mai "Midshipmen" Pucik Greg "The splorchtastic Mr. Spleen" Robinson Jean "CENSORED" Schneider Kelsey "FI-YAH" Hollenback Rachel "glowing green and purple...or not" Sapiro Michael " 2b V NOT ~Elliot "I want a duck!" Reed Ben """"..." Benitez BDan "What me sleep?" Fairchild Rachel "Borgel Lives" Kaufman Jason "You believe in me, therefore I exist" Bronstein Horatio "not Harry" Hornblower Archie "Sapphire bullets" Kennedy Jack "I hate snottx / Axis of Evil" Simpson ~Samanta "focus...on destroying their brains" Crane MARK "BLAH BLAH BLAH" HANDLER /******************/ /* Smacking Stats */ /******************/ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Puns Hits Errors WAR 2 1 0 0 0 1 0 2 1 7 3 2 DEATH 0 0 1 0 0 2 3 1 1 8 2 3