/****************/ /* SWILNews #10 */ /****************/ //Me SWILnews #10, You Jane// /****************/ /* SWILBusiness */ /****************/ AAAAAAAAAAAA-eeeeeeeee-YAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH (No, -w) (I think we want to distinguish between and -t) (Yes, I so too. -d) ( -w) Rabble hit tree. Was pathetic. Middle of ocean no have trees. (Rabble pathetic. Him am using BIG words. -w) (Is this small enough for your vocabulary? -d) Qian want salt shaker. No have salt in jungle. (But we're in the middle of the ocean! -w) (No, only the rabble is in the middle of the ocean. We're safely hidden in the heart of the jungle. -d) (Well don't that just beat all. -w) (No, just you. -d) (What if we gave her salt water? -t) Housing Lottery Bingo at Sophomore Tree-choosing Lottery on April 24th. Come to gym. (Ohhhh.... GYM... -t) (No, you're Time, not gime! -d) Get card. Play game. Win. Me like winning. Walpurgisnacht am April 26th at 8pm. Not no where yet. Can't tell you. Me think am in Bond or IC. Jawaad need Mark of A-proof-al. (Why Jawaad need Death? -w) (Not Death, sentience! Preferably in complete, grammatical sentiences. -d) ( -t) /***********/ /* Lottery */ /***********/ 3 now be "small brown w". Me found small brown w in tree once. Me thought was 3. (Wait... so you found a small brown w in a 3 and thought it was a tree? -d) (I'm not even going to tree to top that! -w) (I'll just go back to the threetops. -t) (No, it's the fourtops! -w) ( But where's Captain Hook? -t) (But no, itsyoo who is smacking. -w) ( -d) Kelsey win lottery. Kelsey greek letter gamma. She take sticky eyes. Stick now blind. No can find home tree. Me no can find home tree either. SWILNews lost!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! (Time, your home tree is in Wharton! -w) (Not yet, but next year it will be on floor tree. -d) ( Quick, let's move on before someone says something extreeneous. -w) ( -d) Kelsey seek secret of Mystery Bowl? SWILNews know way! Me can show her! SWILNews not tell secret that Mystery Bowl only 18 cents of pennies. (This guy makes no cents! -t) (You're right, we don't pay him. -d) ( -w) Kelsey no want root through Death's pack? SWILNews do for her! SWILNews like Kelsey. (Moving right along... -d) /********************/ /* Non-SWILBusiness */ /********************/ Gamelan concert were in ampi... amphi.. big bowl in ground. People came at small brown w in afternoon to see. (I thought Gamelan was illegal outside of Las Vegas. -w) (Nope, we follow the law of the jungle: anything goes! -d) (Anything goes to Sin City? -t) (What about contact jungling? -w) (That's only in Sin City 4. I have Sin City 2000. -t) ( -d) Nose-whistling concert was in Lang. Jonathan talk with big-eared Ferengi traders. Him buy nose flutes. (The traders... do they nose a lot about flutes? -d) (Nose, they have big ears! -t) (What did they trade the Ferengi for? -w) (For to one at Ferengi port... -t) ( -d) Kelsey not real Kyra. She am imitation Kyra. Me like both Kyras. (No, you not similar to either Kyra at all? -w) (Must we Kyra on this conversation? -d) (I didn't know you Kyraed so much. -w) (It's hard to conjugate Kyra. It's so complex. -t) ( -d) (I suppose it should be i for the non-engineers. -d) (Yeah, because we don't know about what you're talking about. -w) ( -t) Elliot and Comma have nuclear war and half. They play game later. (Does that mean that Time is going to live in nuclear Wharton? -w) (I think Time effectively ends when we hit that point. -t) (What happens when we hit Time? -d) (Let's see... -w) (Eeewwwww... -d) (What, do you think it syours? -w) (Y'all missed it. I was smiming. -d) (Doesn't translate very well to plain text... -t) (Does this mean that you're a smimor? -w) Sager not depraved like Scotland. (We're not touching that one with a 10-foot pole. -dtw) (No, we'll use a 10-foot Ukrainian! -w) (How about a 10-foot depraved Scotsman? -d) (They call it caber tossing, you know. -t) (I think we're reaching the end of this caber. -d) ( -t) (Olive when this happens. -w) (Are you Greek now or something? -t) (It's all Greek to Meus! -w) (So now the primary god of the Greeks can't spell? -t) (Smite be the case... -w) Presidents need practice maniacal laughter. Me no know what that is, but me know they need practice. (MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAheeheeheehee... -dtw) Engineers watch Star Trek all night in Hicks. Me think they no like leave. (I just haven't met her yet. -d) (She's a very sweet girl. -w) (I still think we should Liv her out of this.. -d) /*******************/ /* Attendance List */ /*******************/ //The Attendance List of Dark and Stormy Knights// Greg "Spleen of Darkness" Robinson (So that's sort of like the Spleen of the Night? -d) (Spleenly... -w) Kira "Cheerfully Carrying on a Dying semi-tradition" Hollenback Jack "Still Dead" Simpson (As opposed to Arthur "Moving Dead" Chu? -w) (What about the knight of the living dead? -t) ( -d) Mai "Stop misspelling my nickname!" Pucik Horatio "I was a grecian" Hornblower Archie "t00 34r1y p|-|0r 133t" Kennedy (I'm just going to 133t this one alone. -w) (How about we just hit de-133t? -d) (No, I'm de 133t! p|-|34r h4x><0rZ! -t) (We're not 133ting you get away with this. - d) (Yes, he'll 133t us astray! -w) (At the very 133t, that's what he'll do. -d) David "Vampires are programmers caught in infinite recursive real-time loop errors" Pucik (I am the real Time. -dw) (What? What? What? What? [Editor's note: infinite recursion difficult to render in plain text. -t] ... -d) ( -w) Qian "reNUNciate" Qian DOPEY "YO' MAMA" GALOSHES* Jillian "Herder of family" Waldman Lydia "reluctant herdee" Waldman (herdee mom to Jillian, Lydia, Elisa who declines to sign) (Stop, you're herdeeing me! -d) M. Jawaad "Lord of the Dance" Hussain (Can you imagine being Lord of the Dansk? -d) (Lord of the Rings! Lord of the Fries! -w) (Lord of the Pants! -t) (Lord of the Ants! -w) (Jillian didn't bring any aunts... -d) (Or ents for that matter. -t) (Nope, there ent none here at all! -d) (There ent no trees on me, there ent no trees on me, there may be tress on some of you three, but there ent no trees on me. -w) ( -d) Kyra "living in the beautiful delusional world" Jucovy ~Elliot "The truth will set you free?" Reed (No, it will set you... ON FIRE! -t) ( -d) (Paper, plastic, or mithril? - w) (Do you have any idea how many ages that takes to decompose? -d) (It's not like Sauron is the most environmentally friendly Lord of Evil... -t) Rachel "half asleep... is this the attendance list?" Sapiro benjamin 'shut your eyes in holy dread' r, george JC "FitzVerity Vestrit" Ravage ( -dt) (Have Patience, and get your Hands off me! -w) ( -dt) (I'm Trelling... -w) (I'm... not getting it. -t) (Kennit you just lay off? -w) (No, I don't think we want to fire a president. -d) (Wouldn't want to set a precedent on fire, now, would we? -t) MARK "SMARFLES" HANDLER Nick "Correction, sir. They were blown out." Ward (Speakers or candles? -d) (Op-amps, actually. -t) * THIS FOOTNOTE WON THE LOTTERY /***********/ /* The End */ /***********/ We Death, Time, War. We glad you choose SWIL Jungle Tours. Hope you find way home. AAAAAAAAAAAAAeeeeeeeeeeeeeYAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!