Yo!  Stupid!  Yeah, you, the one with the head!

So alright this is last week's swilnews!

Got it!  Of course you got it!  How do you think you're reading it!
some people are just SO stupid.

OK so like these are the people who were at the last meeting of that
so-called science fiction club known as SWIL.  Pay attention or I may
break your knees.  So what if I'm a figment of somebody's imagination!
That don't matter to me none OK!  I'll break your knees anyways OK!  Listen!
Sally.C Karen.K David.A Susan.R Jonathan.W (by the way I hated
Dodes-Kaden) David.VS Morgan.M (sounds like Wall Street to me) Jim.M
Elliott.M Geoff.D Julie.P Ruth.A JoshMcS. Ben.R Diana.S (another
Southerner!) Ellie.W (one o' them big-city types) Rob.S (too many
smiths around here) Lane.W Kir.T Karen.S (see? there's another one!)
Dan.D Garth.S Laura.A Debby.B Rick.P (who's quitting his job.  wimp.)
Michael.B Perry.D (commie pinko slime) Wayne.F Mark.H Jen.A Bruce.H
Laura.H Chris.C Alex.W Steve.W (is he related to Adam Ward?  Who
cares?) Hal.P (get a haircut!) Steve.M Jay.S (ASSOCIATE non-member, not
even a REAL non-member) Mikala.W Hannah.R Leif.K (NEW non-members.
finally decided to see the light, eh?) MEMBERS present were: Cynthia.W
Elizabeth.V (get a haircut!) Amalia.S (who not only LIVES in the
midwest but GOES TO  COLLEGE THERE!  how can she stand it?) Danny.S
Tracey.D and Jess.N  advice to all fundamentally deficient human beings
with enough gall to attend swil meetings while still infused with their
memberness, while still just dripping and oozing MEMBERSHIP IN SWIL!
COME BACK NEXT WEEK!  PLEASE!

Ok now for some news, if any of you are bored out of your skulls enough
to actually read it.  I don't care, do whatever you want aaarrrgghh
uumpph hunh! blat!  oooof!  get off me you lousy slime-dogs! oooof!
(various sounds of scuffle, a great deal of violence.  A final,
sickening thud.  silence.)

The management of WSRN. . .uh the management of the Phoenix . . .
David Fraser and his staff. . .the production team of Gone With The
Wind to Scottsdale Arizona. . . IBM . . . Jackson Browne and Paul Simon
. . .Paul Simon's Wyoming advance team currently making Brownies in
Jackson Hole. . . Apple Computer and its currently dead competition
THE MANAGEMENT OF SWARTHMORE WARDERS IMAGINATIVE LITERATURE
("uh, john, we're not management.  only capitalists are managers."
 "oh, right, sorry jed.")
THE . . . . wait, never mind.  you'll find out who we are when we sign off.

No!  You'll never get rid of me that easily, pig-dogs!
(cut off in midsentence, sounds of scuffle are heard.  a shot in the
dark, somewhere near the top of the page.  silence.)
We apologize for that last and final interuption.  On with the news.
Leif and Laura Almasy are now in charge of swil room, Laura has the key
until further notice. Julie is now Reverend Mother of SWIL, see her for
suggestions for books to buy, (list on swilboard) she and Chris C. are
in charge of discussion groups, the two of them, with Ms. Almasy of
above, are in charge of 10th anniversary preparations which are next
year so don't worry about it too much right now.  Rumor has it that
Sally is now Swil treasurer.  Check with your local gossip columnist.
                                 With not much space left, we are
                                    The Presidents that go ==!!!!==