Once again we have for you today a Swilnews.  That's right, a Swilnews
that you can have for your very, vary own.  Keep it, love it, share,
lose it, burn it, destroy it, shred it, do whatever ye cares, but just
remember that this is a Swilnews!
A what?
A Swilnews!
Oh a Swilnews! This is a Swilnews......

But enough fun and games.  At least for the reasonably determinable
future.  Whatever that means.  Or I means.  Or I beams.  Aye, Captain,
but I can't hold on for very much longer.  Mr. Spock'll tell ya what
happens when the crystals melt down this fast.  I just can't keep a
style consistent for long enough to begin this Swilnews.....

THE SWILNEWS:  theswilnews;  swilthenews  newstheswil swellthenews!!
anyways.   here goes nuttin:

We now have books!  Cute little chunks of varied colors of imagination
manifested in words typed onto various sizes of pages!  Check them out
now!  But first you have to find them!  McCabe.  The paperback shelf.
You know it, you love it, go there and just let your warped imagination
fly.  Go ahead, I dare ya.  Make a paperback book's day.  Read it.

Attendance. Hmmm yes what? Atten dance? At ten dance?  At ten we all
dance?  Who should we invite?  All these people?  Alright then.
Ruth A., Jen A., Debby B., Lisa B, Sally C, Chris C, Geoff D, James D,
Perry D, Dan D, Wayne F, Gautam G, Bruce H, John H, Jed H, Mark H,
Geoff H, Brian I, Ward L, Josh M-S, Kate M, Morgan M, Elliott M, Jim M,
Julie L, Rick P, Karen S, Garth S, David VS, Steve W, Alex (with Bruce
H, the man with the bird in the spring) Ellie W, Lane W, Jay S, Sherry
L (Levi for those of you who don't know.  We'll forgive you) Cynthia W
(are you a non-member yet?) Way, Veg.

And Tristan Reader!  Tristan Reader came to a Swil meeting!
Hallelujah!  Bless this day, oh great spirit of Science Fiction!  For
we shall make of this man a non-member yet!

The magazine of science fiction courteously known as "Aboriginal SF" is
now in Birdwainer.  Or so my distinguished sources tell me.  Right,
Jed?

Tshirtsatlonglastwehavecolorstheyarehotpinkmaroonandburgundycheckthem
outtodayandsignupcausewe'retakingthelistoveronthursdayatthelatest.
Thank you very much for your attention.  Please come back again next
Saturday at 5:00 in the Sharples reserved room so we can all discuss
Tolkien!  Reading: is; available in,  `~Bird" "wainer!
Random,,,,,totally sensel;"e"ss punctuation ****s are available at your
local swilnews!

Reserve the evening of April 23 on your calendars for the third
non-launna SWIL science fiction/fantasy/horror Story Reading, to be
held on aforementioned date (Saturday) in Bond.  Municipal Bond.  All
college welcome.  Refreshments served.
Books were bought, money spent, good taste was preserved.  Among the
tomes obtained by our worthy purchasing agents, brave and hardy souls,
were Hitchhiker's Guide To Just About Anywhere You'd Like To Go And Not
Wake Up With Too Much of a Hangover, and The Return of the King.
                   Running out of room entirely too quickly again,
                   We are, eternally yours, and forever,
                   The Presidents That Go (just use your imagination)