Date: Thu, 16 Apr 92 15:00:36 -0400
  Subject: The Largely Onomatopoeaic SWILnews of Spam

Guess what, folx - you get to vote AGAIN on Saturday! Yes, once again, 
we the people, in order to establish a more perfect handbook thingie, 
pretend to give you the option of changing our group description in 
next year's student handbook. We'll probably let you decide to change 
the contact names to those of people who actually exist on campus, but 
anyway, practice the hand-raising we taught you earlier in the semester.

All this voting, by the way, will be taking place in room #5. That's 
right, we've been ousted. ["You should probably put where it is." --B] 
Room #5 is one of the smaller rooms on one of the sides of the 
microwaves. It's either between the conveyor belt and the microwaves or 
the bagels and the microwaves. It's possible that we'll put up a sign. 
[Right. --B] [What's a cubit? --D]
This'll happen next week, too. Maybe we'll get to vote then too. [oo oo 
--B]

One of the many SWIL traditions associated with Walpurgisnacht is a 
story reading. We'll be having one of those this year. Many of you 
(none of whom is a fish) have been assigned various tasks in order to 
bring this about. Do them. Please. Do them if possible by 2 May, 'cause 
that's when the story reading is. We'll be in [Bondage, picking on my 
typoes, suggests at this point that I include the Walpurgisnack joke. 
Kendra should get the Walpurgisnacks! Ha ha ha! Hee hee! {OK, I get the 
point. Hmf. --B} Ho! {SHUT UP!!!! --B!} Huh. --D] Dana Basement. Bring 
stories to read, or bring ears to listen. [Make like Marc Antony. Or 
Marc Antony's friends. --B] It's Be Nice to Corn Week. [WHAT!!!?!!? 
--B] [Ears? Corn? Get it?
Plus, it's a double reference to your jokes! I'm so subtextual... --D] 
[Ooh, baby... --B]

And of course, schlock will be 4,5, and 6 May. What a fun week of SWIL 
activities, brought to you by SWIL!

ATTENDANCE FOR 11 APRIL 1992
Jen "Hey, wow, I'm first" Setlow; Annie "Leeches can be cool pets" Fox; 
Andrea "Just don't let those leeches put their hooks into you" Hall; 
David "Vampire Leech" Auer [department of redundancy department --D]; 
Topher "enjoying my third breakfast" Le Roy; Charles "non-enjoying my 
first" Xinavera; Geoff "-5 hit points and falling" Noer	[Bwah
ha ha. Ha ha.
--DM]; Josh "eating breakfast instead of lunch" Burdick; Jeff "a Badger 
soon" Hildebrand; Josh "Assassin/Sorceror/Vacuum" Smith; Nao "No 
Breakfast Yet. Not Even Lunch" Parkhurst; Kendra "I'll just lie down 
here in this pretty carnivorous plant" Eshleman; David "Funkosaurus Rex 
sux, but the Mountain Dew is good!" Randallosaurussia; Eric "Man, Am I 
clueless today." Nute [Man, you are indeed. --B] [Woman, however, 
doesn't seem to have this problem... --D] [Oh hum, ho ho ho --B]; Peter 
"giving up in disgust, and will not think up a quote" Wong; Dan "Annie 
sure likes strange pets" Wells; Gloria "Y." Wong


- Budget and
Decimated