Date: Thu, 28 Apr 1994 23:59:25 -0400
Subject: Witty, lyrical and deliciously sensual, SWILnews #12


        "Ants.  I hate ants.  Ants make me crazy.  I was crazy once.  They
put me in a room .  There were ants in that room.  Ants.   I hate ants..." 
-L after several hours of Bio 2 field studies.

     We have a problem. We know this, and now so do you. However, unlike
you, WE know what the problem is. YOU have to guess. Submit all guesses to
Lesley this week. She will be SO happy.  [L is beginning to wonder about
these fits of spring giddiness from dear old TG. Next time you see him,
whap him upside the head, it will settle his thoughts. -L] [Oh yeah, that
idea sounds REAL healthy! -TG]

        First order of SWILbusiness... T-Shirts!
        T-shirts are nice things made out of cloth, often with witty or
poignant sayings on them. They tend to hang out in malls and other places
of business which is why we classify them under SWILbusiness. As for the
t-shirts that you all THINK you're getting... hmmm.... well maybe you are
and maybe you're not and that's for us to know and you to fi[whap! whap!
whap! whap!-L] I hate this whole T-shirt business.
        OK, really, t-shirts are coming along nicely. They have been
ordered. Reunion shirts have been picked up, and will be sent out shortly.
They shall be $10.00 as we had suspected, and others will follow soon. It
would be best, if the money for re-orders came in before we re-ordered,
seeing as some of us benevolent types are running a bit low after financing
two shirt orders. So please get those checks in soon. If you need a
reminder of what you wanted, just ask, and we shall send one. We're just
that nice.

        Next, there is Walpurgisnacht, and it's even spelled right! So show
up this Saturday evening at 8pm and read stories to the lot of us until 2am
in Sharples 3. Should be fun, so be there with reading material and
colorful dress and lots of snacks for me. (colorful dress and snacks are
optional, but not very 'cause we don't really have a budget for this thing)

        Finally, we got down and dirty with schlock. Schlock schlock,
schlock. Isn't that just a great word? I'm so glad we get to write about
THE GREAT ANNUAL swil SCHLOCK FILM FESTIVAL!!! We picked movies, laughed at
art films, and had a riotous good time of it. Movies will be held in
Dupont,hopefully unless the space people can give us a good reason not to.
They will take place starting at 8:00 pm on Tuesday, Wednesday, and
Thursday. From the mayhem of choosing, we got the following wonderful
titles:

        Day theWorld Ended (Roger Corman's first great piece of schlock)
        The Spider (This one even my roommates want to see!)  
        Fire Maidens From Outer Space [pad the film, pad pad pad pad pad
the film. -L] (Hey, how often do you           
                get to see a voyeuristic monster on Jupiter's 13th
moon?)[Depends what's in your water. -L]

        Anyway, we also elected Charles in charge (theme music please) of
the spam drop. Sometime during reading week we will be dropping frozen spam
off the third floor of Parrish, out over the shrubbery, onto the concrete
below. This week we shall discuss time, materials, sign making and what one
wears to a spam drop. Make sure to be there, but more importantly, watch
the sky VERY carefully this coming week.

        Furthermore, look forward this week to two particularly gruesome
dismemberments as we implement exciting Executive Rule #4. [Actually, some
have been asking what happened to rules 1-3. In fact, we started with 4,
plan to make 5 and 6 soon and then go back to the earlier ones in reference
to the Clone Wars. -TG]
        
        Non SWILbusiness:

        This area included THE BIRDS, a very funny play that you all should
have seen, if for no other reason then some really bitchin' costumes.
        Also, Besh is now in a rather awkward position in regard to Michael
Brus. Details at eleven. Let's just say that she's already been seen doing
the tango, even though it usually takes two. [nudge nudge... -TG] [not to
mention the fact that it's in writing. -L]
        Also in writing this week...

ATTENDANCE 4-23-94

Jeremy "Elvis's nephew's clone come back from the dead" Dilatush, Ahyana
"_Blue!_" -"At the head of the table for the first time!!" Clark [Usurper!
-L] Josh "The Komodo of Errors" Burdick, Michael "What a seductive exposed
knee Beth has" Brus, Kathy"not living in or near George" Davis, Justin
Giacoletti, Julianna "not been bitten by Jere7my" Patrick, jere7my "been
bitten by jere7my" thor?rpe, Andrea "Good Morning" Hall, Kristin "I'm 20"
Walker, Larry "An object in motion is going the wrong way" Miller, Colin
"watashi-no akai mizu-wa doko desu-ka?" Schatz, Robert "Geoff is a
hovercraft" Richardson, Elizabeth "I feel so...tingly" Christian, Ross "I
am morally opposed to hovercraft" Dickson, Samuel "I dream of kittens
dining on roast flesh" Weiler, Richard "I've died and gone to SWIL" Nixon
[oooooh, bad taste, people -L]

                                            -Literature & The Grotesque