From chaos @ condor.sccs.swarthmore.edu Sat Jul 17 19:31:42 1999 Date: Mon, 26 Jan 1998 15:56:40 -0500 (EST) From: chaos golubitsky To: _swat.org.swil @ cc.swarthmore.edu Subject: And lo, there was much cleavage ... er, cleaving ... er, SWILnews #1 Three maidens flew through Bond* from Sharples*, young valkyries, in wars to try them; they sate by the mantle*, their limbs to rest, fair southron maids, precious flax spinning; Hlokk and Goll*, Hlothver's daughters, and wise Skogul*, Kiar's offspring. [*some names have been changed to protect the innocent] (I'm not so sure the mantle is innocent. -g) Three others sate there on a couch, Maroon Baboon Balloon Buffoons, Torturing listeners with bad poetry to cries of "Abort! Retry! Ignore!" (then one of us should rise. people are always rising in these sorts of things -h) Then rose Hlokk, to slay the evil on the couch, with Goll and Skogul at her side. Thok stick raised, she clove in twain the readers on the couch. (how can you clove three people in twain? -h) (well, ok, so maybe it's a bad translation. how about "lime jello"? -s) (ok, that's good. they're dead, right? -g) >From the masses arose a cry: first happiness, that the poetry stopped, but then, of sadness and lamentation, "You bastards! You killed Kenny!" And Hlokk with Goll and Skogul, too, they sate by the mantle, their limbs to rest, (cleaving is hard work -s) when the souls of the slain received their revenge, with hats of hideous hues and shapes. A hat on each, thrust down from behind, and a solemn oath that they must serve, Hlokk and Goll and Skogul, too, for a year and a day in their stead. And then Thor, who until now had been in the eastern realms cleaving trolls, returned, and unto the souls said: "Hush thee, ill wights, or my hammer of might, Mjolnir, shall shut thy mouths; I shall shatter thy shoulder-cliffs-- no longer then wilt thou live." And they were silent. (and we were really surprised -h) And so began the reign of Hlokk, Goll, and Skogul (umlauts not included; see attachment), formerly known as chaos @ sccs, kira @ sccs, and will @ sccs (respectively). And then, there was more lime jello for all. SWILBusiness: The St. Valentine's Day Massacre will happen, predictably, on Valentine's day at 6:00pm. For those in the un-know, the Massacre is our annual semi-re-enactment of the historical massacre of the same name, in which the thugtrons march into Sharples and kill the waitrons and victrons (and Joel, who will be Voltron) for the entertainment of the middle room. If you haven't signed up to participate, contact chaos (chaos @ sccs). We especially need waitrons! SWILCon is coming up. The next organizational meeting will be in two weeks. If you want to help out with SWILCon, contact Larry or Megan (ldm @ sccs or mhallam1 @ sccs). They'll be your best friend. Catherine, Joel and Melissa are still running the Pterodactyl Hunt (we think). The Hunt will take place on 20 March, which is not parents' weekend (we think). Raindates are, respectively, 21, 27, and 28 March. For more information or to sign up, e-mail hunt @ swil.org (we think.) Heather is in charge of BEM. Submit to BEM! Submit to Heather! We mean it this time! (Seriously, BEM is SWIL's annual publication, filled with art and stories and poems and such-forth submitted by SWILfolk. It didn't happen last year. It should happen this year. So talk to Heather. (hweidner @ sccs)) (Should it happen twice this year to make up for last year? -s) (Probably not. -h) (But then it's not annual. -s) (Pseudo-annual? -g) Joe is running challenge chess on parents' weekend. Challenge chess is a variant of live chess in which, when two pieces are on the same square, they have to participate in a short challenge to see who stays on the square. (For instance, debate convincingly whether the Alumni Reunion should happen Alumni Weekend '98, Fall '98, or Spring '99. -Gustav) If you have ideas for challenges, e-mail Joe. (Oh, for crying out loud - he was co-president for two years and you still don't know his e-mail address. Fickle, fickle people. Fine... (jmrobins @ sccs)) The George C. Hurliman Memorial Library Memorial Library is located in upper Tarble. Once in the distant past, this library was available for general use by SWILfolk. At some point in the near future (tm), a key to George will be placed in the SWIL locker, also in upper Tarble. The SWIL locker is #42. The locker combination was announced at meeting. Contact one of your helpful co-presidents if you weren't at meeting and want the combination. If you need water, look in locker #43, which has several gallons. If you plan to use George, first listen at the door to make sure CP&P isn't conducting an interview, to avoid the long-standing tradition of getting CP&P really annoyed with us (tm). Also, as a general note, do not leave wood in George. Inauguration happened on Friday. (See above for details.) If you came to inauguration and didn't bring any food, you should give money to Catherine if you have not already done so. She'll know what to do with it. ( -g) We have a movie list. Most importantly, this week's movie is "The Fifth Element", and you should all come. We think the movie even has a plot, but we're not sure. (It's all very complex and there are big metal ducks. -g) (Ducks? Oh, you mean the guns! -s) (No, the guys; the ones who come to the pyramid. -g) (Oh, those guys! I always thought they looked like Vorlons. -s) Since you've been good this year (umm... -h), we'll give you the whole list of movies: 26/01 The Fifth Element 02/02 The Sword in the Stone 09/02 The Day the Earth Stood Still 16/02 Beetlejuice 23/02 The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai Across the Eighth Dimension 02/03 The Phantom Tollbooth 16/03 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 23/03 The Nightmare Before Christmas 30/03 The Andromeda Strain 06/04 Frog 13/04 Tenchu Muyo 20/04 Hook 27/04 THX 1138 04/05 11/05 Barbarella Alternates: Space Camp Time After Time D.A.R.Y.L. Amy is the minister of propaganda. Again. So, everyone be nice to Amy, or she might quit, and then what would be do? Non-SWILBusiness Parlour gaming happened Saturday night in ML. Fred was a good woman impersonator. Joel got a new game, called Terrace. Contact him (jmcnary1 @ cc) for more information. Joe wants to show Twin Peaks, and there was popular support for showing about one episode a week. He will get a room. We are not commenting. Joel is abstract art. (Don't ask us, we just write these things down. -h). Contact Joe or Joel, respectively jmrobins @ sccs or jmcnary1 @ cc, for more information about these matters. Joe wants to run a campus-wide game of murder. (Is that going to help ease the housing crunch? -s) Joel will help, abstractly. Contact either of them to sign up or for more info. Wink will be played Saturday, 31 January, at 8 pm, with red light/green light to warm up, as usual. You should all be there - it's fun. Amy will host a showing of "Groundhog's Day" (a rather amusing Bill Murray movie) on Sunday, 1 February. She will get a room. (What is it with these people? -g) Contact Amy (aswift1 @ cc) for details, or wait for details to appear on the fun list. Megan's weekly showing of "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer" (the TV show, not the movie) has moved from Monday to Tuesday at 9:30 (after dance.) Showings are still in Megan's apartment, which is near the Co-op. There will be pizza. Megan also wants to hold a catchup Buffy marathon some weekend in the near future, possibly even this weekend. Watch for posters, and contact Megan (mhallam1 @ sccs) if you're interested. (We personally think Megan's a little weird, but no one asked us. -h) The Super Bowl happened. Larry had a Super Bowl party. We hope it was fun. Contact Larry (ldm @ sccs) to find out. Jay thinks giant blue extension cords are fun. Joe doesn't. Contact Joe to find out why. ("Contact" will not be a SWIL movie this semester. -h) Jimmosk wasn't there, so Joe informed us that there will be showings of Babylon 5 (which is now in season 5) every week in Jim's apartment in Greylock at 7:30 on Mondays. And, as always, there is an extension cord on Joe's head. We think that's a good place to stop. attendance list, 24 January, 1998: Joel "8 pm -> 10 am = 14 hours of sleep" McNary Anna "I get to go look at BIRDS tomorrow!" Hess Heather "this is not Art" Weidner Jimmy "You're right. Stick a fork (RR) into an electric outlet (R) and you do get Ball Lightning (RRR)" (Mental note) (or a toaster -s) Snibor "Hazzuh! Hazzuh! Tsil ecnadnetta eht ngis ot teg I! Yay!" Eoj Jennifer "Bach, Bach, you evil ritornellos!" Tyson (umm... -h) (i'm trying to decide if "ritornello" is a musical term or a type of pasta. -s) Jay "Ow! I've got an atom in my eye!" Scott Amy "Piltdown Man was neither" Swift Joe "Multiple times, even!" Robins (that's what you get for signing multiple times. -h) Ben "Filk _this_!" Newman Snibor "Eeehw!" Eoj Hannah "Speculating on disaster" Schneider Erik "Kinsay yakutzki hilorjimputa gleepf motas smeegooo! I certainly think so!" Rosolowsky Megan "" Powell (Looks like Czechoslowakia to me... except it ends in a "z". Or a "y". -s) (Never mind. It says Chihuahua City. -g) Larry "Jack Russell Terrier Village!" Miller Megan "Chihuahua City II! The West-coast version. (we're not just a pathetic shadow of the original like most sequels. we're worthwhile in our own right... Really.)" Hallam Dave "I'm not really here, I'm actually in Cornell working" Phillips Sarah "Die commie pigs, Die, Joe, Die!" Bergstrom Kyla "I'm a socialist flying toaster with_out_ a theme song in disguise" Tornheim (Okay, so the theme song _isn't_ in disguise? -g) Catherine "Correct. _This_ is Art." Osborne (no, "_This_" is an emphatic pronoun. ^ ^ o o ^ \_/ is Art. -s) (hello, Art -g) hlokk, goll, & skogul (insert umlauts as needed) (the shrieking one, the screamer, & the raging one) this is not a .sig [ Part 2, "" Text/PLAIN (Name: "umlauts") 19 lines. ] [ Unable to print this part. ]