From chaos @ cs.swarthmore.edu Sat Jul 17 20:55:34 1999 Date: Thu, 25 Feb 1999 15:26:13 -0500 (EST) From: Chaos Golubitsky To: _swat.org.swil @ cc Subject: Attack of the Killer SWILNews #5 Once upon a time, in a kingdom far away (well, not too far away; we have to get back in time for dinner), there lived two co-presidents named Cloak and Dagger, and their pet iMac, Bob. (I don't think it looks like a Bob. -d) Fine. Once upon a time, there lived two co-presidents and their pet iMac #*$@*^ (formerly known as Prince... er, Bob). Currently, #*$@*^ was very unhappy with Cloak and Dagger, particularly Cloak, who had been pushing his CD tray in and out for the past hour idly while trying to think up a plot for SWILNews. (Yeah, you really know how to push his buttons. -d) Right. Anyway. Fortunately for Cloak and her soon-to-be ex-co-president Dagger (can you tell who's typing this? -d), the arduous task of writing SWILNews was about to become the last thing on their minds. (well, actually, the absolute last thing on my mind is the chemical structure of recently shampooed carpet, but writing swilnews is right up there. -c) Suddenly (things always seem to happen suddenly in swilnewsi, much to the surprise of anyone who sees the speed at which these things get typed -c), a giant killer vine named Viscous Infernal Noisy (Warders of) Edward, or VINE for short. Everyone was very scared. At this rather inopportune point in the story, the co-presidents fled, realizing that they had never actually finished the first sentence in this paragraph. All of this made VINE very happy. SWILBusiness: First of all, the results of last week's SWILNews quiz: we are both extremely disappointed with the current boredom levels of SWILfolk. Of a SWIL list of about 150, only 6 people were bored enough to respond to the SWILNews at all, and only 4 of those filled out the survey. So, the four most bored people in SWIL are: 1) Will Quale 2) Robert McFarland 3) Snibor Eoj 4) Abigail Friedman the most popular responses to the survey (that is, most popular with us, not most frequent, fortunately) were: > 3. Which of the following t-shirt slogans and designs is it okay to submit > to Sonia, since it hasn't already been done? Write-in candidates: SWIL: We like penguins. SWIL is like fudge Jell-o... (I haven't finished the thought yet, but I like the concept, and it's better than "SWIL is like a fudge narwhal..." ============================================================================ > 6. What are we doing for Spamageddon this year? I cannot answer this question, as it is against my religious principles. :-) --------------- My lighting mechanism of choice for this is a model rocketry solar igniter. Do NOT simply attach a model rocket engine to a block of spam. The results are highly unpredictable. Although it would be interesting to launch a basic rocket with a payload of spam which would blow into smithereens when the engine kicks back to blow the 'chute... --------------- 6)e--SPAMlet, A Tragedy in Five Acts (the tale of Spamlet, prince Denmark) ============================================================================ > 7. Where is the SWIL 20th reunion tray now? > a. all of the above. (especially c. Fish) ============================================================================ > 10. What else is happening Friday night? > a. We're taking over the universe. Show up to claim your free solar > system. > c. Do you want to buy a duck? (only if my free solar system doesn't have ducks. does it?) ------------- c, a what? ============================================================================ > 12. When will Megan be showing Buffy next Tuesday? > a. Every hour, on the hour. > b. At either 8pm or 10pm, plus 12:30. E-mail her if you plan to come > regularly and have a preference for one of the earlier showing > times. > c. 6:03am. I thought it was c, but when I showed up, she was asleep. ============================================================================ > 13. who signed the list of a, j, and the tardy co-president? > -Cloak and Dagger If you've submitted to BEM, thank you. If you haven't submitted to BEM, you should, but tell Heather you're doing so, since the deadline has passed. She is currently in the market for a good assassin for the purposes of hunting people down. Be afraid. Everyone who has a suggestion for Spamageddon should write up a four-sentence proposal, optionally in iambic pentameter (ooh! or trochaic! -c) (what the hell - write a sonnet -d), and bring it to meeting on Saturday, or e-mail it to presidents @ swil.org (us) if you're not going to be at meeting or think we're more likely to remember than you are. Book-buying for Cordwainer is going to happen real soon now (tm). E-mail suggestions to library @ swil.org, or bring them to meeting. We're going to try to come up with a semi-complete record of what's actually in Cordwainer sometime before then. Cloak will put the information she has now in her home directory (~chaos/cordwainer) tonight, so look at that if you want. If you have books currently checked out from Cordwainer, and are finished with them, or have had them for a really long time, please return them. If you're not finished with them, but have had them for a really long time, let us know. Next week's SWIL movie is Max Headroom. This week's was Metropolis, which apparently had a really good turnout and a really bad string quartet. Non-SWILBusiness: The Student Activities Van does not go to Granite Run. Amy wants to have a storyreading sometime. People should start thinking up times. E-mail the fun list. There is no new Buffy this week. Fred has a new game, "fossil", which is the winner of that German Game-of-the-Year Award thingy for this year. The list of too-spicy-chili - 20 February 1999: Abigail "Abigail Friedman" Friedman Jim "Which way is up?" Moskowitz (extreme confusion not replicable in ascii -c) Amy "'" Marinello Jimmy "That's the last time I play || || in dress pants." Kong (those are traffic lights. please excuse the limits this medium places on our creative expression. -c) Fred "But if you have the Right of Way safety card, no need to play a green light" Bush Ben "Here Comes the Plague" Newman Peter "I'm quiet" Ma Heather "moon, stars, frogs, and friends" Weidner Anna "No more pine needles, now fungus and leaf mold!" Hess (woo-hoo -d) Andrea "Here for the Books" Hall Arcadia "one syllable away from embodying iambic pentameter" Falcon(es)e Jennifer "ew, chili - I'll stick w/salad" Tyson Megan "demonic fetal harvest" Powell Otavia "cannae think of ought to say" Propper Lindsay "hopelessly underqualified" Herron Amy "lo, and the angel of silliness came upon them, and quoth they, "swil"!" Swift Dave "insert time delay" Phillips Megan "There's no such _thing_ as "too-spicy" chili" Hallam (don't look at me - i'm not the wussy northerner co-president who named the attendance list -c) (pardon me, o great one. -d) (this is fun... -c) (:^P -d) Larry "Punish me, Sailor Moon! Punish me! I've been a bad boy" Miller Hannah "let's go fly a kite" Schneider Rebecca "plague-ridden" Paul Rebecca "today i'm rebecca Paul" Jones Robert "supersymmetry" treboR Jessica "lovin' is a lowdown blues" Harbour Catherine "man, am I a good roommate" Osborne (yes. -d) -Cloak and Dagger