From chaos @ cs.swarthmore.edu Sat Jul 17 20:55:40 1999 Date: Thu, 4 Mar 1999 16:05:59 -0500 (EST) From: Chaos Golubitsky To: _swat.org.swil @ cc Subject: Why Science Majors Shouldn't Write SWILNews #6 Abstract In this SWIL meeting, we used a transformer to match the impedance of a signal source to the impedance of a speaker. In order to maximize the power transferred, the primary winding of the transformer, which was connected to the source, had an impedance nearly matching that of the source. The secondary winding, which was connected to the speaker, had an impedance near to that of the speaker. The ratio squared of the number of turns in the primary winding to the turns in the secondary was equal to the ratio of the impedance of the primary to that of the secondary. As a result, we are going to have to find a new location to have meeting next week. Introduction In the beginning, there was Spam. The Spam frightened SWIL, indeed, threatened their very existence. So, SWIL decided that the Spam should not be, and took it upon themselves to make it so (or not so, as the case may be -c) by destroying the Spam in fun ways. Quite some time after the beginning, there was other SWILBusiness. But that came later. Procedure The following proposals for Spam events were presented: 1) Megan suggested that we run the Quaker Spambox next year. 2) Jim composed the following poem about his suggestion: A rose will bloom, it then will fade So dies the rose, as dies the fairest maid So too, I'm told, I've heard it sayed That SPAM will age And grow decayed So I propose This be displayed Put SPAM on cam And leave it laid Out in the air Where we, dismayed, Can slowly watch it Retrograde Returning to the dust from which it grew, That we may learn how SPAM's like me or you. 3) Tom is in favour of "flying, exploding, or otherwise kinetic" Spam. It was pointed out that we have never run high voltage through Spam. 4) Abigail wasn't at the meeting, but sent a poem for her idea, the Tragedy of Spamlet, Prince of Denmark: You all have heard my story, sad to tell, So get your spam and knives and let them fence And re-enact that harsh descent to Hell: The poison, swords, and traps -- the rest is silence. 5) Amy outlined her proposal for the Spammish Inquisition, which will be an all-afternoon Spamtraveganza involving a team of inquitors listing the crimes of Spam and interrogating the campus at large, with a stunning finale in which Spam is captured and sentenced to be burned at the stake. 6) Otavia suggested Spamgee, the Spam bungee. Not much more was said. We're glad. 7) Hannah suggested giving Spam a Viking funeral. 8) Robert was then inspired to think of Spamoses. 9) John wants to try to cryogenically freeze Spam again, then drop it and see if it shatters. "In the time between when it's dropped off Parrish 5th and when it hits the ground, maybe we'll discover how to resuscitate Spam." A vote was taken. (No, we're not going to tell you the result of the vote now. It goes in the Results section. Aren't you paying attention?) Results The impatient rabble sucked at being disorderly. Okay, now that we're in the results section: the winning proposal was the Spammish Inquisition. Amy is going to run it. The deadline for t-shirt submissions was arbitrarily determined to be Wednesday, 24 March. Give designs and slogan ideas to Sonia (sonechka @ sccs) by then. John is still running Walpurgisnacht. Obviously, he should be found and stopped. St. Patrick's Day is Wednesday, 17 March. We should go beat snakes again. SWILCon is coming, the panels are being planned, Please to ask your professors to speak on them. If you haven't got a professor, an assistant prof will do. If you haven't got an assistant prof, then God bless you! (Note: Ben is doing an excellent job of running SWILCon, and should not be blamed for this awful piece of poetry, the responsility for which lies squarely on our shoulders.) The SWIL movie right after break is E.T. Tell your friends. Tell your enemies. Tell your friends' enemies' professors' plumbers' electrictians' dogs' wives' owners' dentists. Okay, maybe not. Book suggestions for Cordwainer are being accepted until Friday (tomorrow) at 6 (or so). At the moment, 90% of the suggestions are Dagger's, so if you don't like Dagger, be sure to get your suggestions in. ( what about "if you don't like my taste in books" -d) (nah, i like it this way better. -c) Discussion Dagger thinks it is patently unfair that Cloak always gets to type. Dagger is going home tomorrow morning. Cloak is going home and getting her wisdom teeth extracted. (after this, she's gonna be way dumb. -d) (however, she will still have a relatively good concept of english usage, unlike some co-presidents she could mention. -c) (you mean like Literature? -d) Consider the following function: f(0, 0, y) = y f(0, x+1, y) = f(0, x, y) + 1 for x>=0 f(1, 0, y) = 0 f(z+2, 0, y) = 1 for z>=0 f(z+1, x+1, y) = f(z, f(z+1, x, y), y) for x>=0 and z>=0 Discuss. Conclusions The BBC Miniseries "Neverwhere", by Neil Gaiman, will be shown in Greylock 301 on Sunday, 14 March, starting at 8:00pm. Contact Jimmosk for details. The attendance list of the impatient rabble - 27 February 1999: Megan Haberle Sonia "pi bonding" Mariano Ben "" Newman Jim "Hey! Melissa ate 30th St. Station!" Moskowitz Josh "shtogie" Burdick Lindsay "Blade rocks my world" Herron Jennifer "Amy is bouncy & neon (not Amy')" Tyson (makes sense. if Amy were Amy', then we would have to have Amy = e^x or Amy = 0, and that would just be weird. -c) Phil "visit http://eclipsed.net/~tom/experience/" Stepleton John "cryo-spam" Finkbiner Jessica "This is my throat. This is my throat on not enough drugs. Any questions? Hope not, 'cause I can't answer them." Harbour Fred "remand the Spam to the secular arm!" Bush Jmmy "_ wld lk t by _ vwl, Alx" Kng Peter "Hmm....." Ma Dave "Spamsicles" Phillips Amy "I am Armageddon, courageous explorer from another plane with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men; legendary warrior and teacher of holy men; strongest of the strong, swiftest of the swift, most agile creature in a plethora of dimensions; dispenser of justice to those who seek to enforce their evil and lawless ways upon others; possessor of the deadly Chalice of the Gods; Chosen One and savior of the people of Mesopia; valiant defender of maidens in distress; discloser of the evils that lurk behind enchanted portals, or in the shadows that blind men's eyes; traverser of enchanted forests, frozen wastelands, haunted fens, and pirate-ridden seas; slayer of trolls, dragons, and all manner of base and vile beasts; banisher of introctabilious spirits; twice vanquisher of the treacherous fiend Zairithk; master of the winds; wielder of weapons of unfathomable nature; trusted guardian of enigmatic runes and mystical pendants; Prince of the Rats of France; and the greatest swordsman in the world!" Marinello Sarah "Captured and rescued in a deserted corner of the bowels of Hell, aka Sharples" Bergstrom Megan "Oh, nothing!" Hallam (I'm always unhappy at SWIL these days, why is that?) Robert "La patro sidas kai legas" McFarland Rebecca "today, I am not Rebecca Paul; Rebecca Paul is here. ergo, I am not here" Jones Rebecca "No longer plague-ridden but still coughing" Paul Amy "80s refugee? or just lime green?" Swift -Cloak and Dagger