News -- Spring 1988

• Yo! Stupid! Yeah, you, the one with the head!
• Welcome to The Normal SWILnews, brought to you by us, in this the second week of the PING dynasty.
• We think you all have lovely initials. They're just so swell.
• Hmmmmm. Last week's Swilnews apparently offended, so I apologize and begin this one with a warning:
• ok so this is a swilnews
• The SWILnews Over Break
• Once again we have for you today a Swilnews.
• The ingerdients for this week's swilnews are the following
• Swil' news (n.) from the Swarthmorese acronym SWIL, Swarthmore Warders of Imaginative Literature, + "news."
• This is a SWILnews. A what? A SWILnews.
• Due to a rather severe overpopulation of thermonuclear salad bowls at breakfast this morning, there will be no swilnews today.
• Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today.

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